It's The Little Things

Everybody who knows me, knows I have a lot of weird "quirks," I have a lot of odd phoebias, and, in general, I'm just a strange kinda guy. I've probably even mentioned a few a time or two on this blog. Well, and I mean no disrespect, one of my phoebias is "Little People."

(Ed. Note...I apologize in advance if the term Little People is no longer the accepted norm.)

I could spend this post discussing what is bothersome about them to me, but I would rather just relay a story, so here goes.

It was Summer 2002, and Becky and I decide to have our very first yard sale. Being a self proclaimed "Pack Rat" the yard sale was quite a large one filled with numerous items that Becky had finally convinced me it was time to part with. At one point in the sale, Becky left to pick up some lunch, and that's when it happened...when I was all alone.

Next door to us is a rental house which rotates it's renters on a fairly regular basis. So much so, we really don't try to get to know the neighbors, cause in reality, they are never there long enough to try to get to know. From the neighbors yard I could hear a voice, but when I looked across the stone fence, I could see no one talking...

Around the corner came my neighbor...a "little person." I didn't know what to do. I crossed my fingers that she wouldn't buy anything, and that in a few short minutes, the experience would be over. But, of course, it didn't happen that way. You see, this neighbor of mine was very vocal, and wasn't shy to ask questions...ABOUT EVERYTHING!!

"Hey, how much is this basket?"

"Hey, can you get this shirt down for me?"

"Hey, does this tv work?"

I almost think she could sense that I was afraid...she could smell the cold sweat that was begining to form. And she loved it!! She loved making me sweat!

I tried my very best to be polite and to answer all her questions. Just when I was to the point of passing out, she let up.

"I'll take this shirt" she said, extending her arm towards me clutching a tie-dyed shirt.

At this point, exhausted, drenched in sweat, and quite honestly not wanting to deal with the situation, I did the only thing I could.

I gave her the shirt...smiled...and collapsed in the chair as she walked away.