The Contest Starts Now!!

Contest Entry is now closed!! Thanks to all of you who submitted your favorite artists. Let's hope we get some stuff back!! Remember, famous people are way more important than we are, so if it takes awhile to get these signatures back, we have to live with that.

I will say, however, that of all the autograph requests I've sent out, only 2 didn't respond. And those two were John Cusack and Chris Cornell (of Audioslave and Soundgarden.) Most of them came back rather quickly...Billy Joel only took about 10 days! Some took longer...I literally forgot about the Willie Nelson request I had made, until it came back, signed.

After doing my research, I picked one artist for each of you...without further ado, here are the selections!!

Amanda

Chris Daughtry

While several people picked the former American Idol contestant, you did so first. Therefore, you get him.

Prediction: Signed, 14-21 days

Tyler

Big & Rich

In a surprise move, the youngster didn't pick an artist in his own age range, instead he chose an artist who's songs sound like they are in his age range.

Prediction: Signed, 14-21 days

Kristy

Justin Timberlake

I had to go deep into Kristy's list. Daughtry was taken, Keith Urban is in rehab or something, so I chose JT. (Don't tell anybody, but I like him, too!)

Prediction: Signed, 21 days to a month.

Juli/Lauren

Beyonce

Of all the autographs, I hope this one comes back the most. Tres bootylicious, Beyonce!! (Sorry if you don't speak French!!)

Prediction: Signed, 21 days to a month.

Sue

Toby Keith (for your mother-in-law, Debbi)

Jon Bon Jovi (for you).

Since your first choice was for someone else (how nice!!) I decided to send to both!!

Predictions: Toby Keith: signed, 1 - 3 months
Jon Bon Jovi: signed, 1 - 2 months

Hank

Montgomery Gentry

I feel stupid. Every picture I looked at for Montgomery Gentry had two guys in it. It wasn't until 10 minutes later, I realized Montgomery Gentry is a BAND, not a guy's name. Stupid Country Groups!!

Prediction: Signed, 14-21 days (but I hope it never comes, TEN MINUTES!!)

Noah and Coleson

Raffi

I can't believe this guy's still alive!! I really don't know who Raffi is, but it reminds me of the movie Bye, Bye Love. The two young kids go to this party, and the barely teenage boy goes up to the dj (who is spinning some load tunes) and yells over the music

Kid: "Do you have any Raffi?"

DJ: "Reefer?"

Kid: "NO, RAFFI!!"

I don't know why, that just cracks me up!

Prediction: Signed, 1-3 months (he's in Canada, so it may take a little longer).

Nellie

Flaming Lips - Wayne Coyne

Bowie doesn't sign, Stephin Merritt is too obscure and I couldn't find an address for him (kudos for the attempt), so I am going with Wayne Coyne. I have to add, the album with She Don't Like Jelly was HORRIBLE. Some of there new stuff isn't half bad, though.

Prediction: Unsure, these guys are too unpredictable

Oh, but as a bonus, I'm gonna try for Willie Nelson...for the kiddies.

Willie Nelson

Prediction: A long, long time. (I think it took me close to a year...maybe this time will be better!!)

Jean

Johnny Rzeznik (Goo Goo Dolls)

I like this choice...he hasn't done anything for awhile, so maybe he'll enjoy the fan mail, and it will come back quicker.

Prediction: Signed, 10-14 days

Larry

Sammy Hagar

Gonna go with your first choice, The Red Rocker. Logic says Mellencamp, since he has a house in Indiana, would return quickest, HOWEVER I'm sick of that damn This is Our Country song. How many times can they play that commercial during one football game? I know the answer to that, it's a ba-zillion!!

Prediction: Signed, 1-4 months (depending on his Cabo consumption at the time).

Becky says it's not really a contest unless you have a prize. So, I'll be thinking of something glorious to give to the first person to get an autograph back. Please keep checking in to see if your celeb signs!!

The Autograph Contest

Pete Seeger is a pioneer of folk music.

Pete Seeger is also 87 years old.

With my newfound love of roots folk music, coupled with the fact that Mr. Seeger is in what I will call, "His Golden Years," I have decided to send him a request for an autograph, so that I can hang it beside my James Taylor, Billy Joel, and Willie Nelson autographed lp's.

That got me thinking...you know what would be fun?

HAVING A CONTEST WITH THE READERS OF THIS BLOG!!

I will call it, the autograph contest!! (How original is that!!)

The idea is simple: Tell me which artist (living, of course) you love, and if I can find their address, I will send them a letter and get something autographed for you!

First one to get an autograph back, wins!! (But, really, don't we all win, if we get back an autograph eventually?)

The rules:

1. Reply to this post with a list of 3 artists you love. I will send a request to the first one on the list that I can get an address for (I have my ways.)

2. Only pick LIVING artists.

3. Sit back and wait for the results!

I will post whenever a new autograph comes in, and best of all, I will send you the autographed item!! (There is no catch, I really will send it to you, I promise!!)

Ok, there is one catch...if I don't know you, please don't enter this contest, cause that would just be weird...

(Deadline to enter...March 2nd!!)

Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

If you are like most men, you have either:

1. Not gotten anything for your woman.

2. Not even THOUGHT about getting anything for your woman.

3. Never gotten anything for your woman.

or

4. Need to blow up your woman.

Well, guys, fear not...I have a solution for you!!

I know what you are thinking, White Castle?!? (or that sweet white car there!!) But, look closer...

That's right!! White Castle is "Taking Valentine Reservations"!!!

As crazy as this sounds, I decided to go to the source for some investigative reporting, just for you dear readers.

First, I actually went to the White Castle, and I found a sign promoting the Valentine Special. I tried to take a picture, but a huge guy named Clyde hit me with a mop...wait, that was a lady?? My bad. Anyway, the sign showed a box shaped like a heart with several hamburgers inside.

All together now, AWWWWEE!! If that doesn't say love, then I don't know what does!

Next, I went to the website, where I picked up this little nugget:

"Make your Valentine’s day STEAMY!

Take your Valentine to White Castle on Wednesday, February 14 between 5 and 8 p.m. and enjoy hostess seating, candlelit dining and your own server. Reservations are required, so check the list below for participating Castles near you!

Special this year, you can also treat your honey to a romantic White Castle dinner in your home! Cupid’s Crave Kits include eight cheeseburgers, one sack of fries, two regular soft drinks, coupons and keepsake items to heat up your homespun romance. Now, ain’t that sweet?"

Sweet indeed!! Act now, seats are limited*!! And come on, doesn't a nice romantic candlelit dinner beat a teddy bear any day?? You can thank me later!!

*realistically, there are probably tons of seats left...

Goin' to the Fieldhouse

At the beginning of the NBA season, Becky and I discussed plans to get tickets for the Pacers vs 76er's game, as Becky is a huge Allen Iverson fan. In my typical fashion, I put this task off, even though it was one of the 3 things Becky had on her Christmas Wish List.

Before you go condemning me for not making good on a Christmas Wish, let me just say it was a darn good thing I didn't lay my money down on Sixers tickets. For those of you not in the know, Iverson was traded to the Denver Nuggets, which would have made those Sixer tickets worth bupkis. (Procrastinating finally pays off!!)

So, I decided to wait until a week before the game to get tickets via Ebay, as you can usually get them cheaper than through Ticketmaster (especially with all the crazy fees you have to pay to Ticketmaster.) I found some good, cheap tickets, and was pumped to see the league's two leading scorers hit the court on the same team, Iverson and Carmelo Anthony!!

Friday afternoon, I was psyched for the game...that is until I popped open ESPN's website.

IVERSON TO MISS ROAD TRIP BECAUSE OF BAD ANKLE

Oh, no, you have got to be kidding me!! (Could this be bad karma because I didn't get Becky the tickets for Christmas?) I called Becky to break the bad news to her. She wasn't as disappointed as I had thought she would be, but we were both still bummed. Like the troopers we are, we still soldiered on to the game.

It was Marsh Family Night at Conseco Fieldhouse, and Marsh had given out 6,000 dry erase boards. This normally wouldn't be too noteworthy, but keep reading, and you'll see how a flimsy dry erase board ended up providing us with a great laugh.

Soon after we arrived and finished our pretzels, the Pacer's mascot, Boomer, began making his rounds through the aisles, throwing out packages of "Boom Sticks" to all the little kiddies in the audience. I had to beat a little boy down to get a set for us. (Ok, truth is, with that big Boomer mascot head, Boomer mistook Becky for a kid and threw some our way.)

I think Becky actually caused 3 free throws to be missed with these things...a lot better than the snotty nosed brat that sat next to us did!! Anyway, the game was close most of the way, but in the second quarter, the tide shifted to the Nuggets for good when the ref (number 64, according to the back of his ref shirt) called a phantom foul on Jeff Foster. (I saw the replay, there was NO foul!!) The Pacer's coach, Rick Carlisle, went berserk, and #64 quickly gave him his walking papers.

The crowd booed.

Then, a couple minutes later, the Pacers called a time-out. Our back-up point guard, Darrell Armstrong approached the ref and was giving him the business. The ref took it in stride and held up his hand to take the ball from Armstrong, who promptly bounce passed it to a different ref.

BAM! Armstrong gets a technical. As he walked away from the ref, Armstrong continued to jaw and cuss...

BAM! Armstrong gets technical number two, which is all you get before you are ejected. Armstrong charged after the ref, but a couple players grabbed him. (NOTE: Armstrong ended up getting suspended for a game because of this, and post-game comments about the officiating.)

The crowd quickly rose to their feet. Boo's rained down upon #64 as he stood solemnly at half court during the timeout. This is where the dry erase board came into play.

A few rows ahead of us sat two boys, maybe 10 in age with the older guys. The one boy held his dry erase board up high for the world to see. Below is a recreation of what that board said.

Ah, from the mouths of babes. I don't think anyone in the entire arena could have summed it up better, than "F U 64." (I also liked the sign from another youngster that read "You can borrow my contacts." Priceless.)

In the end, 'Melo was just too much as he poured 34 points on us, and the Nuggets won easily, but a fun time was had by all. Hopefully, next time, Iverson will show up!

Oh, and as a side note, we sat about 20 feet away from Nuggets Forward, Kenyon Martin who is sidelined with some knee issues. Becky swore that every time there was a time-out, Kenyon would look right at her. We decided to try to get his attention the next time he looked, but, of course, he never looked over again, despite our yelling "KENYON!" in his general direction. I guess there wasn't a love connection after all!!

(Kenyon Martin)

We Are The

SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS







(I'm hoping to score some real pics from the Colts
return to the Dome celebration...will post if/when
I get them, and permission to post!)

Super Bowl

I live in Indiana...

I watched the AFC Championship Game matching the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots.

At first, I was afraid...I was petrified.

But, as the song goes, I will survive...because the Colts won, baby!!!

super bowl, Super Bowl, SUPER BOWL!!!

In closing, I'll leave you with the sign at our local Midas shop.



GO COLTS!!

Famous Idol Rejects

Once again, the weather has turned from warm to cold, the trees have shed their leaves, and American Idol is on television. Season Six began last night, and, once again, I found myself in front of the old boob tube watching the good, the not so good, and the down right terrible compete to become the next American Idol.

The auditions were first held in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Being a big music fan, I knew Prince was from Minneapolis, but I also knew of another great artist from the Gopher State, Bob Dylan. That got me to thinking.

While Dylan is notably one of the best songwriter's ever, he wouldn't even come close to making it past the judges, and on to Hollywood. What other famous musicians wouldn't get the Golden Ticket?

1. Bob Dylan



Randy: "Yo, Dogg...Minnesota native? Yo, represent, do it right!!"

Simon: "What song are you going to sing us?"

Dylan: "This Land is Your Land, by Woody Guthrie"

Simon: "Ok, off you go."

(10 seconds later)

Simon: "Are you being serious? That was horrendous! Paula?"

Paula: "I'm gonna pass."

Randy: "Yeah, dogg, that's a no for me, too."

Simon: "It's a no, Bob."

2. Chuck Berry



(Berry enters the room with his famous Duck Walk.)

Simon: "NEXT!!"

(Paula hits Simon.)

Randy: "Come on, Simon, give him a chance!!"

(Simon begrudgingly agrees.)

(10 seconds later...)

Simon: "Oh, that was worth it!!" (note sarcastic tone.) "NEXT!!"

3. Jimi Hendrix



(Jimi enters wearing an array of brightly colored clothing, and his signature blat hat with purple trim.)

Simon: "Where are you from?"

Hendrix: "Seattle"

Simon: "Looks like Mars..."

(Paula hits Simon.)

(Hendrix begins to sing...10 seconds later.)

Simon: "Is that considered good in Mars?"

Randy: "Yeah, dogg, it was just a'ight for me. Simon?"

Simon: "No."

Paula: "I'm sorry, it's a no for me, too."

Randy: "Yeah, dogg, it's a no."

4. John Lennon



Paula: "Says, here you are from England?"

(Lennon nods.)

Simon: "Not much of a talker, this one."

(Paula hits Simon.)

(Lennon begins to sing...15 seconds later.)

Simon: "I like you."

Randy: "Just cause he's from England!!"

Paula: "You were pitchy in spots. Simon?"

Simon: "I say yes."

Randy: "No, dogg, not for me."

Paula: "I'm on the fence...I'm gonna say no, sorry."

5. Bruce Springsteen



Randy: "Jersey, represent!! I use to lay down tracks with Journey!"

Simon: "Journey isn't from Jersey!"

Randy: "Yo, Mariah Carey, dogg!!" (NOTE: Ironically, Jackson worked with both Springsteen and Dylan...)

Simon: "Enough with this name dropping, just sing."

(10 seconds later...)

Randy: "Um...nah, it's a no."

Paula: "No."

Simon: "Sorry, Bruce, it's a no."

6. Tom Petty



Simon: "Why are you here?"

Petty: "To sing."

Simon: "Go ahead."

(3 notes later...)

Randy: (holding his ears, and laughing) "Yo, dogg, singing is not your thing!!"

Simon: "If I'm being honest, that sounded like a cat got it's bum caught in a blender!"

(Paula hits Simon.)

Simon: "Honestly, Paula, that was appalling!"

Paula: "Do you have to be so rude about it?"

(The bickering continues as Petty leaves the room.)

7. Bon Scott - AC/DC



(Bon Scott enters the room with a fifth of whiskey in his hands.)

Scott: "Back in Blaaaaaaaaack"

Simon: "SECURITY!!"

8. Joey Ramone - The Ramones

Paula: "How tall are you!?!"

Ramone: "I don't know, 6"5, 6"6..."

Simon: "Ok, enough with this chatter, go ahead and sing."

(Ramone begins to sing, and Randy and Paula quickly cover their faces and start laughing.)

Simon: "How do you think you did? You know what, forget that, you are terrible, the door is that way."

9. Ozzy Osbourne



Simon: "What are you going to sing for us today?"

Ozzy: "Um, well, sizzle furly hurgle."

(All 3 judges look puzzled.)

Randy: "I don't think I know that one, dogg."

Ozzy: "mumble, sizzle...fuckin' furly hurgle!"

Simon: "Um, go ahead."

(10 seconds later)

Randy: "Oh, In the Ghetto!!" (NOTE: Why is it that Ozzy can sing coherently, but not talk coherently??)

Ozzy: "yea, fuckin' sizzle..."

Simon: (interrupting) "I can't understand a word that you have said...it's a no."

10. Johnny Rotten - Sex Pistols



(Rotten enters the room)

Rotten: "bleep, bleep, bleep, you bleepity, bleepers!!"

(Rotten exits the room.)
---------------------------------------------

So, there you have it, 10 musicians who wouldn't get the Golden Ticket to Hollywood on American Idol. I know, I know...there are a lot of artists who are worse singers than the 10 I named (well, some of the 10 I named, anyway), but do you know what all 10 of these frontmen have in common?

I'll give you a second...

Ok, time's up...(highlight over blank spot to reveal answer) they are all members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!! Talent isn't always singin' in key!! (NOTE: I know, Idol is a singing competition...but can you tell me how in the hell Carmen Rasmussen or Nikki McKibben made it as far as they did? I'd take two Dylans and a shot of Ozzy over either of them!!)

The Streak

Being that it is a new year, a time of resolutions that eventually get broken, I thought I would tell you a tale of a magnificent streak that spanned many months beginning back in August.

Ok, this has nothing to do with New Year's Resolutions, but if it inspires some people to make a streak of their own (possibly as a New Year's Resolution?!?), so be it.

You see, I am a not a morning person. I hate mornings, in fact. This was evident in the fact that I was perpetually late for work. I'm not talking an hour late, or even 20 minutes, but 5 minutes here, three minutes there...you get the idea.

Well, in August, (or was it July? I don't remember...not important) I decided to make a change. I decided to make it to work on time, every day! I know what you're thinking..."Big deal!!" Well, mister, it is a big deal for me...after all, if you had no boss on site, no morning responsibilities, and a love of sleeping in, it would be a big deal!!

Without further ado, here is my journey...



Day one was surprisingly easy. I had decided to make a change, and by george I was going to do it!! I was a whole 5 minutes early, and the healing process had begun!!




By day 10, I was still easily making the time. This was, however, the first time I asked my co-worker to throw me a party for my excellence in getting to work on time.

This was also the first time she said "Hell, no!!"




Note the volleyball graphic...creative, I know!! Since I have always been # 13 on all the volleyball teams I've ever played on, I think it's appropriate!



Since I loathe this number, I decided NOT to draw any tribute to it. This was also the first day that I RAN from my car to make it into the building on time. WHEW...2 minutes to spare!!



Day 50...by this time, I was in the zone! I even managed to draw a little guitar playing 50 and still make it to work on time...

This was the second time I requested a party from my co-worker...nothing special, just some cake, or a cookie...maybe a few hundred of my closest friends.

Co-Worker: "HELL, NO!! Why would I give you a party for something you should be doing anyway?"

I guess she had a point...maybe at 100, I offered.




Everything zen at day 69...



Ah, it finally arrived, day 100. I fully expected to walk in on day 100 to a showering of confetti, and signs declaring me the Greatest!! (Especially since I hinted at such for a few days prior!!)

It was not to be. I was greeted instead by an icy stare, and a "whoop-de-doo!!"

That was just wrong.



For those of you who aren't good at puzzles, this is for day 107.

Then, disaster...



You see, the night of my 107th consecutive streak day (wow, that was confusing) my alarm clock was reset...upon setting the time back, I must have set it a few minutes off from what I had it set at before. The next day, I woke up and thought nothing of the time, as it was the same time I had normally awoke (or so I thought.)

I didn't even run into work, I thought I had it...

But a quick look at the clock told a different story...8:02.

I was 2 minutes late. The streak was over.

I felt ashamed, but relieved. All that pressure to make it on time was taking it's toll on me. Mentally, I was a wreck. But, in the end, I am proud of my 107 days on time to work...I still wanted that party, though!!

A Christmas Conversation

The other day, Becky informed me that she had a "Wow Gift" for me that would blow my mind hole!! She was afraid, however, that she would get this gift for me, and I would buy this gift for her also. I was a bit confused on how this could even happen, but I agreed to not buy her anything else for Christmas, and to "try to not figure out" what the gift was.

My excitement was brimming over as I pondered what it could possibly be that we would both think to buy each other (yes, I tried to figure it out...I'm a thinker, it's what I do.)

The next day, while listening to the radio, I heard this:

Announcer: "Remember to sign up for our exclusive Pre-sale Saturday to see The Who in concert at Conseco Fieldhouse!"

Me: "WOW!! The Who at Conseco!! I'm gonna get us tickets!" (a few seconds elapse) "CRAP!! That has to be the Wow Gift Becky was talking about!!"

My excitement quickly turned to despair, cause now I had to find a way to figure out if that was indeed the "Wow Gift" Becky was speaking of without ruining the surprise for her in the event this wasn't the gift.

That evening...

Me: "Um, I think I figured out the Wow Gift..."

Becky: "Oh, yeah?"

Me: (looking at the ground) "Um, yeah...let me ask you a few questions to see if it's the same thing without giving it away. Is it bigger than a breadbox?"

Becky: "No."

Me: "Can it fit into a stocking?"

Becky: "Yes."

Me: "Is it something that you can buy right now?"

Becky: (getting nervous) "No."

Me: (Out of questions to ask) "Where do you want to sit at The Who concert?"

Becky: (after hitting me a few times in the arm) "Dang it, I told you not to figure it out!!"

Me: "It came on the radio!! What was I suppose to do?"

The pre-sale was the next day at 10 am, so I perched myself at the computer, ready to pounce on Ticketmaster.com and get the best seats possible. As soon as the pre-sale opened, my fingers were flying.

Two tickets, best location, go, Go, GO!!! After typing the security password, I was in. Two Floor seats! I was ecstatic...but then I remembered the Paul McCartney concert at Gund Arena a few years prior, and how Becky couldn't see over the crowd (I could see great, but I am a foot taller than she is!!)

I yelled to Becky..."Do you want the floor?"

"NO!!" she cried back.

I knew I only had precious minutes to get a good seat. I refreshed the screen.

FLOOR AGAIN!! Crap!!

Refresh...Section 9, Row 18. CRAP!! (For those of you not in the know, Section 9 sucks, as illustrated by this map of the Fieldhouse Seating...)



As you can plainly see, Section 9 is a slice of pie sandwiched behind Section 8, and most of Section 11. It's ALL THE WAY across the arena, and in general, the location is terrible. Oh, and we sat over there for Springsteen once, and the sound was sucka-roo over in that area, also.

But, did I dare refresh again? What if they put me in the upper level? Nose-bleed? Behind a freakin' pole!!! I gave it two seconds thought, hoped for maybe a mid-court Section like 117, or even 225...then I refreshed.

Section 3!!! Holy Cow, Section 3!! This is the Grand Daddy of all Sections to see a concert!! We sat in this prime real estate for the Elton John show, and it was super close to the stage! I instantly bought the tickets, and ran up to tell Becky the great news.

She did a few Pete Townshend windmills as we sang Baba O' Reily, and basked in the glory of our mutual Wow Gift.

Gift Ideas

Well, it's almost Christmas. Time for putting up the tree, and hanging the Christmas lights. Time for seeing who's been naughty and who's been nice. And it's also time to shell out our hard earned cash on presents for both the grateful and ungrateful alike.

(I know, I didn't mention it's also time to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus, but it just feels like that fact is being diluted and swept under the rug by the marketing giants of "Big Business"...just don't get me started, ok?)

In the Gillespie household, we like to catergorize our family and friends into two groups, neither one being better than the other. One group is the "Gift" group, which receives presents of great forethought and care, and the other group is the "Card" group, which receives Christmas cheer via a handwritten Christmas card presented with great forethought and care.

Being forethoughtful and caring as we are, I thought I would share with you a few Christmas gifts to avoid giving this year.

1. $5 Cash (or gift card).

Sure, a Five-Spot is charming when you pull it from a birthday card from grandma, but unwrapping Honest Abe's wrinkly face on Christmas day is pretty far from charming. Here are a few simple rules for giving money as a gift.

a.) Give at LEAST $20. If you can't afford to give $20 to someone, maybe they should be in the "Card" Group.

b.) Try to remember what they gave you last Christmas, and mirror the sentiment. (Keeping in mind rule a.) Did they give you a sweater? $20 should do it. Did they give you a shiny new guitar? Better up the ante a little.

c.) When giving Gift cards, $20 is good, but for some reason $25 is above and beyond!! It's a meal for two PLUS an appetizer. What says love like an appetizer?

2. Christmas Themed Sweater

While there are probably no fashion rules like "You can't wear white after Labor Day" concerning Christmas sweaters, there most definitely should be. Don't get me wrong, while Christmas sweaters are festive and fun BEFORE or ON Christmas, they are equally unfestive and unfun after the 25th. Here's why this is a bad gift:

a.) Obviously, you received this gift on Christmas Day, and, as outlined above, it ceases to be an acceptable clothing option on December 26th.

b.) December 26, 2006 is 364 days removed from December 25, 2007.

c.) By the time Christmas rolls around again, your "hip, new" sweater will be dated and way uncool...no one wants to be uncool.

(SIDENOTE: I think I will throw in all Christmas themed gifts in this category...Christmas DVD's, Christmas CD's, Christmas Gift Boxes of Summer Sausage and Cheese. These gifts are so very seasonal, and I think that's a sad thing for a friend to give a friend something that can't be used but one or two months of the year MAX. Oh, unless the DVD is Christmas Story, cause that movie rocks year round.)

3. Necessities for a Parent

You know what I mean, here. When you buy your friend a package of diapers cause they just had a baby.

This is lame.

Think about it...yes, the parent does NEED these things, but let's face it, Christmas is a holiday of WANT. Let the baby's grandma buy the diapers, and take your friend out for dinner or buy them a sweater (not Christmas related) or something.

(SIDENOTE: If you are this parent, and you receive cash or gift card, don't slap the giver in the face by using it on your kids. That money is for You to buy something for YOURSELF. If the giver wanted to blow another 20 bucks on your kid, they would have...)

4. Lotion/Bath Sets

These are really nice, and some people love getting them for gifts, so I won't go too hard on them. However, let's get real. Besides cash/gift cards, this is the number one "I-don't-know-what-to-buy-for-you" gift. It's a cop-out, in it's purest form. I said it before, and I'll say it again, if you don't know the person well enough to buy them something with a little thought, maybe they should be in the "Card" group.

5. (cue Rod Roddy from the Price is Right voice) ... A NEW CAR!!

This one is simple, you get someone a car in 2006, what the hell do you get them in 2007? You set the bar pretty high there, Einstein!!

Well, that's all the advice I have. I have a feeling I may have just dropped off of a few people's "Gift" Group list with this post, but you know every word is true!!

Happy Christmas, people. Now, put some thought into those gifts!!

Rest in Peace, Voodoo Chile

Born today was the greatest guitarist to ever live...

Jimi Hendrix - 1942 - 1970

If Jimi were alive, he would have been 64 today.

Now, go and do what's right...turn up your Hendrix LP's, CD's, cassette tapes or 8-tracks, and if you don't have any, BUY SOME, DOWNLOAD SOME, BORROW SOME...just get your Jimi on today, ya dig?

El Giganto

Wow...only one comment message for the jukebox, eh...(thanks, Sue). I hope you know what this means. Yes, that's right, the jukebox will now haunt me in my dreams, taunt me for my lack of friends, and overall cause my life to be as miserable as the jukebox must now feel after this lack of support.

Sorry to get all guilt trip on ya.

Times, they do a'change, and in the place of my beloved jukebox, I have inserted a new "family member".

El Giganto!!



Standing 6 feet 7 inches, and weighing...well, I don't know how much it weighs, but it's a lot...El Giganto is my newest cabinet, this one housing in excess of 5,000 45 rpm records!! I'm thinking about having another contest soon...guess the number of 45's in ole El Giganto's belly. I'll keep you informed.

Here are a few more shots...





Now show El Giganto some love, lest he get upset and smash me beneath his girth!!

Celebrating the Life of a Friend

It truly is a sad day...it's been a sad weekend, in fact.

Early Saturday morning...12:43 am...I had to say goodbye to a very good friend...




born: 1976 // died: 2006


Yes, kids, the jukebox is no more. My intentions were good. Strip the box of all parts heavy without compromising the structure's integrity...take it out to the shed, and reassemble it back to its original glory. But after 5 hours of "surgery", the jukebox could not be saved.

Don't cry for the jukebox, he wouldn't have wanted that.

The jukebox, who really never had a name, had been broken for several years now. I still held out hope that he could once again sing...but in the end, it just wasn't meant to be. I finally had to send him to a better place, to that jukebox in the sky, to spin records with the great jukeboxes of history.

I remember the good ole days...

--Doing a interpritive dance around the basement to Bowie's "Space Oddity"
--Pushing random numbers and coming up with Yoko Ono's "Kiss Kiss Kiss" (YIKES!!...Note: it's the B Side to a John Lennon classic, ok?!)
--Turning out the lights in the apartment and playing the Beatles "A Day in the Life" to get pumped before a match

I could go on, but I'm getting too sad.

A few key pieces have been retained for prosperity's sake...but by and large, the jukebox is gone.


(In the belly of the jukebox)

Here are a few more facts about my jukebox:

--First song I heard it play...Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles
--Last song I heard it play...Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police
--Purchased...1998
--Records that had to be in the jukebox at all times...It's Good to be King - Tom Petty and Blue Christmas - Elvis (for reasons all my own).
--Memories...too many to count

I'm sorry, old friend...I wish you could have sung forever.

(Please, take a second to pay your final respects and condolenses in the comments section...but don't send flowers, the jukebox was allergic.)

Halloween 2006: Part Two

(Click on any picture to enlarge)


Ok, where was I? Oh, yes...the Paper Bag Limbo Contest was down to it's final 3:


Going out in third place was "Crazy-Eyes" Becky, who at this point was still rockin' her red skull bandana, even though the bloody scrubs had been tossed aside.


The second place finisher was Christy, who made a valiant effort, but just couldn't hang with...


The Tin Man...not only did Toby make this level look easy (check out the shocked look on Christy's face!) he also stretched for one more as the bag was about 2 inches from the ground!!

Next, Shannon ran the Pretzel and Straw game. Guys vs girls. The object was simple, move the pretzel from one person to the next using only the straw (which is place in your mouth) until all four "contestants" transfered the pretzel. The girls were beating us easily, so we took a break to enjoy the scenery.



The guys had their revenge in the next game. I had printed out a series of picture stills from horror movies, and the object was to guess the film. After a closely contested battle, the guys narrowly defeated the girls.

The final game of the night was the Marshmallow classic, "Chubby Monkey". In this controversial game, you have to utter the phrase "Chubby Monkey" after each large marshmallow you put in your mouth. After a few lightweights tried, I stepped up and jammed 9 marshmallows in my mouth and still uttered the phrase "Chebby Monkey." The tenth, as you can see, was too much.



I thought that record was impossible to beat...then Toby stepped up and shovelled an incredible 14 in his pie hole...he called for more, but Shannon cut him off.

And that was that...it was midnight, and us old fogies had enough of the party scene. I packed up some chili, and we made our way home.

Oh, wait, before I go...one more for the road...