Halloween 2006: Part One

Halloween is a peaceful time, when children and adults alike can throw the stresses of work and responsibility out the window, and get down to what every really matters...hanging out with friends, playing some games, and of course, spending some time creating a costume!!

This year, the gang got together for a little Halloween bash at Toby's house. Becky and I, not willing to go to the extremes in putting together our costumes, decided on this low key look:














"Doctor McScreamy"







"Crazy Eyes" Becky
















(First person to mention that I have a "man-sized"
hand print on my ass is gonna get a "man-sized"
foot up theirs!!)
When we arrived at the bash, we met up with some interesting characters...

(Brian and Christy, I would tell you what they
are dressed as, but that may violate the "Doctor/
Patient Privilege"!! )


(Toby - "Beer Keg" aka "The Tin Man" )


(and Shannon as Capt. Spaulding)



(the real Capt. Spaulding)

(NOTE: For those of you not in the know, Capt. Spaulding is a character in Rob Zombie's film House of a 1,000 Corpses, which I highly recommend...here's a taste of what the real character looks like, so you can see how awesome Shannon's costume really was:)

There were a few more people milling around without costumes. Toby's little boy had some friends over, and their parents weren't in the Halloween spirit, it seems (actually, I don't think they realized it was a costume party, cause the kids weren't dressed either.)

While the kids played, Spaulding and I had some chili, and then decided to go and attack the children. After all, what's scarier than a clown? (NOTE: For legal reasons, Brian decided it was best not to wrestle the kids, his costume involved a fake butt in the back and that's about it...I have decided not to post that picture in case Brian wants to run for President some day...and because who really wants to see that??) We wrestled the three kids for awhile, and I endured a smashed thumb, a punch to the nose, another punch to the, ahem, "groin area", and one kids feeble attempt to shove a glow stick up my behind (who's kids are these!?!) But the straw that broke this Doctor's back was when a kid I affectionately nicknamed "Baby Gap" (because he had a Gap sweater on) bit my ass...you don't need to re-read that, HE BIT MY ASS!!

I needed revenge, and the Capt. was more than willing to ASSist. (hardy har har.) The plan was simple, when Baby Gap came a chompin', Capt. Spaulding was going to come around and execute the "Toe Joe" on him.

For those of you not in the know, I have made this little demonstration on what a "Toe Joe" is. (Oh, and giving credit where it is due, special thanks to Hank for enlightening all of us with this great form of entertainment!)

Step One: Select the Target


(This bear will represent our
ass biting friend, "Baby Gap.")

Step Two: Turning the Target


(Because kids are little, and weak, this step is easy...
just flip them on their stomach.)

Step 3: TOE JOE the Target



(Lift the Target's foot up, and place his toe
in the band of his underwear. The more the
kid wiggles to get free...and it's not very easy
to get free from this...the more the toe pulls
on the underwear, exposing more and more
of the kid's behind...laughter ensues as the
kid is embarrassed in front of all his little
friends. For even more fun, I recommend
the Double Toe Joe...)

The kids cleared out, and the games began. We started with a modified limbo competetion where you had to pick up a paper bag with your mouth, without letting any part of your body touch the ground. Each round, the bag was cut down, making it lower to the ground. The final three competetors were:

To Be Continued...(Sorry, the blooger isn't uploading very fast, so I'll hit you with part 2 later!!)

First Impressions

When selling your home, it is always important to make a good impression. Last weekend, we almost made the worst impression on a potential buyer that you could make.

We recently switched our realtors, and the new company decided to hold an open house on Sunday, which meant we really had to kick some butt cleaning, and de-cluttering our house. Friday, Becky began cleaning and I worked on fixing a loose railing leading down to the basement. While we worked downstairs, Becky decided to lock the screen door upstairs, and leave the main door open.

We worked into the wee hours. I didn't finish the railing because I needed to charge my drill, but we still got a lot accomplished. We called it a night, or morning, or whatever, and went to sleep, knowing Saturday was going to be the "big cleaning day."

Saturday morning, we decided to sleep in. We arose about ten minutes til 11 am, and made our way down to get ready to take on our day. While I stumbled into the bathroom, Becky went to the front door to get the mail. Before she could open the door, she noticed a shadow coming through the curtain. She carefully inspected, and quickly made her way to where I was.

"Somebody's on the front porch!!"

I pulled her into the spare bedroom, and said be quiet, they'll go away. She heard a noise coming from the backyard...

"There are people in the backyard now!!"

I began to panic. Why, you may ask? Because I was still in my underwear, and people were beginning to knock on the door!! I ran to the dresser and threw some pants on while Becky locked herself into the bathroom. I went to the back door and was met by a realtor.

"I'm suppose to show the house at 11..."

CRAP!!

I tried to explain to her that no one had informed us of this. She looked frustrated, and gave me the I-know-you-are-lying look. I told her to give us 10 minutes, and we would be gone. I ran downstairs and fixed the railing while Becky frantically swept the house. A few things got pushed into place, and we walked out the door, past the potential buyers, and drove off to get some lunch.

Remember when I said Becky locked the screen door? You see, if Becky hadn't done that the night before (which we NEVER usually do), those people would have had access to the Realtor Lock Box that they put on our door, which holds the key to the house. The realtor would have unlocked the house, and let this family of four (two young kids) straight into a house with me...in my underwear!!

Nobody needs to see that!!

Thank goodness for the screen door lock!!

(Oh, and if you are wondering, they didn't buy the house. Double Crap!!)