Karma: The Vending Machine Nazi

Today, I would like to teach you all a lesson in Karma. Now I know you could just as easily turn on My Name Is Earl on NBC and get the same lesson while laughing at the hilarious Jason Lee and gawking at the beautiful Jamie Pressly, but you came to my site, so humor me here ok?



A couple of weeks ago, I posted a story called The Dangling Item. (Click link to re-read).

Long story short, I took two Twinkies from the vending machine for the price of one. Well, karma has come back to bite me on that one friends. (Let me take a second to say "You were right" to The Phoenix, who basically called me out on it.)

I should have known that vending machine would remember me ripping extra product from it's belly, but it is, after all, just a machine...or so I thought!! The other day I returned to that machine for some Doritos...Nacho Cheese variety. The machine called out for 65 cents.

I first tried a dollar bill. It spit it back....three times. Finally, the bill took. I pressed 114, and the displayed read "PLEASE USE EXACT CHANGE."

I reach into my pocket and realized I only had quarters and dimes in my pocket. I put 2 quarters and 2 dimes in...I really didn't care if the extra nickel change popped back, I wanted the chips!! I put the change in, and to my horror, the machine totally ate my dimes!!

Credit 50 cents, the machine read.

So, I tried to get the change back, and 2 quarters popped out...no dimes. Crap!! I took out a third quarter and put them all in the slot.

I pressed 114 again. "PLEASE USE EXACT CHANGE." Double Crap!!

The machine was just toying with me at this point. I swear the display read "No Chips for you, fatboy!" at one point. Maybe this machine was the Vending Machine Nazi!! I apologized to it's cold display for taking the Twinkies and swore I never would again. I thought that would help.

I tried the quarters again...no luck. I flagged down a passing worker and luckily for me, he had some nickels. I put the 2 quarters and 3 nickels into the slot, apologized again, and pressed 114.

Nothing happened.

I pressed 114 again.

"PLEASE MAKE ANOTHER SELECTION"

I just put my head into my hand, hit 116 for Doritos...Cool Ranch, and skulked back to my desk, thoroughly defeated by the Vending Machine Nazi. As Jerry Seinfeld said..."It's hard living under a Nazi regime!!"

And how!!