The Dangling Item

There are only a few good things about going to work. Ok, maybe there isn't anything good about going to work, but one good thing at work is the Office Vending Machine.

Ah, the vending machine...providing me with a little something on the maid's day off, or, more appropriately, on the mornings I get up so late I forget to grab a Toaster Pastry. The Office Vending Machine also is a good topic of conversation:

"Hey, Mike, did you see there are Powdered Donuts behind the Danish Roll?"

"Damn, I need to find someone to buy that Danish Roll!!" (NOTE: Fat chance of that, Mike!!)

Today, as the day was winding down, I decided to grab a candy bar from the Vending Machine, you know, just to take the edge off...I can quit anytime I want!! Anyway, as I scanned the Vending Machine for the 3 Musketeer bars, I noticed every Vending Machine snacker's dream.

The dangling item.

Oh, yeah, you know what I mean. The dangling item occurs when the poor fool before you inserts their money, only to watch in horror as the coil twists, and said selection gets stuck before it falls to the tray below. The selection in question...Hostess Twinkies.

Mmmm...Twinkies.

Seeing the dangling item, I acted fast. I quickly surveyed the breakroom to see if anyone was around. I was in luck...no one was even lurking in the hallway. I put my hand on the top of the machine, tipped it off the ground a few inches, and let it careen to the floor. The whole machine rattled, but the Twinkies held their ground.

I repeated my gameplan a few more times.

Look, lift, drop, repeat.

Same results.

Knowing that Twinkie was stuck for good, I had to make a quick decision. I could either:

1. Let that Twinkie dangle, get the 3 Musketeer and be happy with my lower calorie decision.

or

2. Go for the double. Buy one Twinkie and get the second one free.

I should have went with the lower calorie 3 Musketeer, because, as you know, it now has half the fat...but I didn't.

I did the double.

I took my two packages of Twinkies back to the office, ate a pack, and put one back for later. Now I have heartburn, probably well deserved, but who can resist the Dangling Item??