5, 5...Who'll Give Me 5?

All of you who know me know I'm a big Ebay fan. A lot of times, however, you buy something on Ebay only to find it wasn't as described. Man, that sucks!! If only there was a way to have items up for bid and you could personally hold the things and inspect them BEFORE you bid...

Ah, yes...AUCTIONS!! I have heard a lot of people gush about going to auctions and estate sales, but I was always too afraid of the fast paced nature of the "game." I tried it once years back, and had a bad experience.

I went to the local auction barn in the 'Burg because I was tipped off they were putting some records on the block. I went and searched the 5 boxes of records and put together a box of records that were good ones I would like to have. Since I only found one good box, I was going to concentrate on that box. Well, the bidding started, and me not knowing anything about auctions, tried to keep up.

"Alright we got some records here, choice of box...who'll give me 5, 5, 5, who'll give me 5."

I got a stern look from the auctioneer, the man who tipped me off in the first place. I raised my number and started the bidding. Another guy was with me and we bid it up to $20. When the dust finally settled, I had won!

That's when the trouble started.

"You want all of 'em?" the auctioneer asked?

Well, yeah I want them all!! Sweet, I got them all for $20!! Damn, that was a good deal. So, I get up and go to pay, and the lady says..."$100, Sonny."

"No, I just bought the records...$20."

"You took 'em all, $20 times 5 is $100."

I was stunned. I didn't have $100!! I thought they meant...OH!! I begged for forgiveness, and they finally granted it to me. I took my one box, paid $20 and slunk off into the night never to return. As I left I heard the Auctioneer and all the auctionees laughing at me as the Auctioneer explained how stupid I was.

Fast forward 7 years.

Becky and I went to an auction close to home. This time, I knew the lingo. Becky got us started with a win on a glass plate.

I set my sights on some old video cameras that my cousin collects, and some larger items in the front yard. I was running back and forth, to make sure I won the cameras, before bidding began for the larger items. Finally the cameras came up...but first, it was hair curlers. No one wanted them, so they drug in a camera. It wasn't the one I wanted, and no one bid, so in came the second camera, the Super 8 hand held I wanted. I bid the dollar.

To my surprise, no one challenged. My first win!! Two old cameras and some hair curlers for a dollar! I made my way back out front and prepared to wage war for a beautiful console stereo. This thing had no scratches on it. I opened the bidding at $20 and bids came in fast and furious.

$25, $30, $40, $50, $60...I pulled myself out of the running. But Becky nudged me and put me back in...she always knows when I should keep fighting. I threw myself back in at $80, and won!



We tried to get some recliners that went for an unbelievable $500 each, and a table that went out of our range. Then it was Becky's turn. Her sights were set on a small padded rocking chair. There were 2, and the auctioneer called for choice. Becky and another lady duked it out, and Becky finally succumbed and gave it up at $50. The lady took her choice (which was also the one Becky wanted) and left. The other one was up for grabs. The bidding stated again, and Becky won for $25.




A few more things went out of our price range, and I bought a plant stand to sit my Steve Timmons 1984 USA World Championship Volleyball Jersey on. (Yes, he actually wore this jersey!! I guess it's more exciting to me than you...)



After that, Becky took our number to the back, where they already knew what we bought (isn't technology great?) and she paid the lady. I carted the stereo down to the street and waited for Becky to pick us up. We loaded the stereo, but didn't have room for Becky's chair, so I picked it up and started walking home.

I thought the house was closer than it was. A half a mile later, I arrived home. We now officially have the auction bug. We went to our second on Sunday, but won nothing. We will be back...oh yes, we will be back!!