Gift Ideas

Well, it's almost Christmas. Time for putting up the tree, and hanging the Christmas lights. Time for seeing who's been naughty and who's been nice. And it's also time to shell out our hard earned cash on presents for both the grateful and ungrateful alike.

(I know, I didn't mention it's also time to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus, but it just feels like that fact is being diluted and swept under the rug by the marketing giants of "Big Business"...just don't get me started, ok?)

In the Gillespie household, we like to catergorize our family and friends into two groups, neither one being better than the other. One group is the "Gift" group, which receives presents of great forethought and care, and the other group is the "Card" group, which receives Christmas cheer via a handwritten Christmas card presented with great forethought and care.

Being forethoughtful and caring as we are, I thought I would share with you a few Christmas gifts to avoid giving this year.

1. $5 Cash (or gift card).

Sure, a Five-Spot is charming when you pull it from a birthday card from grandma, but unwrapping Honest Abe's wrinkly face on Christmas day is pretty far from charming. Here are a few simple rules for giving money as a gift.

a.) Give at LEAST $20. If you can't afford to give $20 to someone, maybe they should be in the "Card" Group.

b.) Try to remember what they gave you last Christmas, and mirror the sentiment. (Keeping in mind rule a.) Did they give you a sweater? $20 should do it. Did they give you a shiny new guitar? Better up the ante a little.

c.) When giving Gift cards, $20 is good, but for some reason $25 is above and beyond!! It's a meal for two PLUS an appetizer. What says love like an appetizer?

2. Christmas Themed Sweater

While there are probably no fashion rules like "You can't wear white after Labor Day" concerning Christmas sweaters, there most definitely should be. Don't get me wrong, while Christmas sweaters are festive and fun BEFORE or ON Christmas, they are equally unfestive and unfun after the 25th. Here's why this is a bad gift:

a.) Obviously, you received this gift on Christmas Day, and, as outlined above, it ceases to be an acceptable clothing option on December 26th.

b.) December 26, 2006 is 364 days removed from December 25, 2007.

c.) By the time Christmas rolls around again, your "hip, new" sweater will be dated and way uncool...no one wants to be uncool.

(SIDENOTE: I think I will throw in all Christmas themed gifts in this category...Christmas DVD's, Christmas CD's, Christmas Gift Boxes of Summer Sausage and Cheese. These gifts are so very seasonal, and I think that's a sad thing for a friend to give a friend something that can't be used but one or two months of the year MAX. Oh, unless the DVD is Christmas Story, cause that movie rocks year round.)

3. Necessities for a Parent

You know what I mean, here. When you buy your friend a package of diapers cause they just had a baby.

This is lame.

Think about it...yes, the parent does NEED these things, but let's face it, Christmas is a holiday of WANT. Let the baby's grandma buy the diapers, and take your friend out for dinner or buy them a sweater (not Christmas related) or something.

(SIDENOTE: If you are this parent, and you receive cash or gift card, don't slap the giver in the face by using it on your kids. That money is for You to buy something for YOURSELF. If the giver wanted to blow another 20 bucks on your kid, they would have...)

4. Lotion/Bath Sets

These are really nice, and some people love getting them for gifts, so I won't go too hard on them. However, let's get real. Besides cash/gift cards, this is the number one "I-don't-know-what-to-buy-for-you" gift. It's a cop-out, in it's purest form. I said it before, and I'll say it again, if you don't know the person well enough to buy them something with a little thought, maybe they should be in the "Card" group.

5. (cue Rod Roddy from the Price is Right voice) ... A NEW CAR!!

This one is simple, you get someone a car in 2006, what the hell do you get them in 2007? You set the bar pretty high there, Einstein!!

Well, that's all the advice I have. I have a feeling I may have just dropped off of a few people's "Gift" Group list with this post, but you know every word is true!!

Happy Christmas, people. Now, put some thought into those gifts!!

Rest in Peace, Voodoo Chile

Born today was the greatest guitarist to ever live...

Jimi Hendrix - 1942 - 1970

If Jimi were alive, he would have been 64 today.

Now, go and do what's right...turn up your Hendrix LP's, CD's, cassette tapes or 8-tracks, and if you don't have any, BUY SOME, DOWNLOAD SOME, BORROW SOME...just get your Jimi on today, ya dig?

El Giganto

Wow...only one comment message for the jukebox, eh...(thanks, Sue). I hope you know what this means. Yes, that's right, the jukebox will now haunt me in my dreams, taunt me for my lack of friends, and overall cause my life to be as miserable as the jukebox must now feel after this lack of support.

Sorry to get all guilt trip on ya.

Times, they do a'change, and in the place of my beloved jukebox, I have inserted a new "family member".

El Giganto!!



Standing 6 feet 7 inches, and weighing...well, I don't know how much it weighs, but it's a lot...El Giganto is my newest cabinet, this one housing in excess of 5,000 45 rpm records!! I'm thinking about having another contest soon...guess the number of 45's in ole El Giganto's belly. I'll keep you informed.

Here are a few more shots...





Now show El Giganto some love, lest he get upset and smash me beneath his girth!!

Celebrating the Life of a Friend

It truly is a sad day...it's been a sad weekend, in fact.

Early Saturday morning...12:43 am...I had to say goodbye to a very good friend...




born: 1976 // died: 2006


Yes, kids, the jukebox is no more. My intentions were good. Strip the box of all parts heavy without compromising the structure's integrity...take it out to the shed, and reassemble it back to its original glory. But after 5 hours of "surgery", the jukebox could not be saved.

Don't cry for the jukebox, he wouldn't have wanted that.

The jukebox, who really never had a name, had been broken for several years now. I still held out hope that he could once again sing...but in the end, it just wasn't meant to be. I finally had to send him to a better place, to that jukebox in the sky, to spin records with the great jukeboxes of history.

I remember the good ole days...

--Doing a interpritive dance around the basement to Bowie's "Space Oddity"
--Pushing random numbers and coming up with Yoko Ono's "Kiss Kiss Kiss" (YIKES!!...Note: it's the B Side to a John Lennon classic, ok?!)
--Turning out the lights in the apartment and playing the Beatles "A Day in the Life" to get pumped before a match

I could go on, but I'm getting too sad.

A few key pieces have been retained for prosperity's sake...but by and large, the jukebox is gone.


(In the belly of the jukebox)

Here are a few more facts about my jukebox:

--First song I heard it play...Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles
--Last song I heard it play...Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police
--Purchased...1998
--Records that had to be in the jukebox at all times...It's Good to be King - Tom Petty and Blue Christmas - Elvis (for reasons all my own).
--Memories...too many to count

I'm sorry, old friend...I wish you could have sung forever.

(Please, take a second to pay your final respects and condolenses in the comments section...but don't send flowers, the jukebox was allergic.)

Halloween 2006: Part Two

(Click on any picture to enlarge)


Ok, where was I? Oh, yes...the Paper Bag Limbo Contest was down to it's final 3:


Going out in third place was "Crazy-Eyes" Becky, who at this point was still rockin' her red skull bandana, even though the bloody scrubs had been tossed aside.


The second place finisher was Christy, who made a valiant effort, but just couldn't hang with...


The Tin Man...not only did Toby make this level look easy (check out the shocked look on Christy's face!) he also stretched for one more as the bag was about 2 inches from the ground!!

Next, Shannon ran the Pretzel and Straw game. Guys vs girls. The object was simple, move the pretzel from one person to the next using only the straw (which is place in your mouth) until all four "contestants" transfered the pretzel. The girls were beating us easily, so we took a break to enjoy the scenery.



The guys had their revenge in the next game. I had printed out a series of picture stills from horror movies, and the object was to guess the film. After a closely contested battle, the guys narrowly defeated the girls.

The final game of the night was the Marshmallow classic, "Chubby Monkey". In this controversial game, you have to utter the phrase "Chubby Monkey" after each large marshmallow you put in your mouth. After a few lightweights tried, I stepped up and jammed 9 marshmallows in my mouth and still uttered the phrase "Chebby Monkey." The tenth, as you can see, was too much.



I thought that record was impossible to beat...then Toby stepped up and shovelled an incredible 14 in his pie hole...he called for more, but Shannon cut him off.

And that was that...it was midnight, and us old fogies had enough of the party scene. I packed up some chili, and we made our way home.

Oh, wait, before I go...one more for the road...