I am starting to believe, in my advancing age, that I am slowly morphing into a Super Hero. No Super Hero in particular, but more like a mixture of many. Let's examine the facts:
1. Like Spiderman, I have Super Hero senses. I can always tell when it's about to rain because of the aching in my knees. I can always sense when I need to go to the bathroom...usually at least once in the middle of the night.
2. Like Batman, I have a Super Hero ability to sleep for long periods of time. Bats hybernate, don't they?
3. Like Plastic Man, I have Super stretchy skin...in the waist area...allowing maximum weight gain.
4. Like Kojak, I have little hair. What? That could be a super power!! Wait, Kojak isn't a Super Hero? Oh...scratch that.
5. Like Superman, I have the ability to ... well...I could probably change clothes in a phone booth.
Here are some other Super Hero abilities...
---THE ABILITY TO BRUISE LIKE A PEACH.
---THE ABILITY TO LOSE HIS TEMPER ON THE VOLLEYBALL COURT, BY A SINGLE MISSED CALL.
---THE ABILITY TO LIFT HEAVY OBJECTS (I DO HAVE TO LIFT MYSELF OFF THE COUCH, YOU KNOW!!)
AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY...
---THE ABILITY TO DASH CHILDREN'S HOPES AND DREAMS BY TELLING THEM I AM, IN FACT, TOO SORE TO BE THE HORSEY.
Maybe they don't add up to much of a Super Hero, but hey...it's better than The Waffler!! "Gold and crispy, bad guys are histr'y...WAFFLERRRRRRRR!! (Oh you, go rent Mystery Men!!)
2 comments:
you seem like a super hero to me!
and the blue rajah had me in stitches. i love mystery men! i could watch that and dogma all day!
Well, thank you very much!! I am learning from the master, my dad...he has the Super Hero power of Selective Hearing...hearing only the things he wants to, and the Mystical Senior Citizen Discount!! I can't wait!! (oh, by the way, All Kevin Smith's movies are a riot. I liked Dogma, but Clerks is the bomb!!
Post a Comment