Toilet Troubles

Plumbing...not my strong suit. Actually, many who know me, know I'm not a very handy guy at all. My fix-it-yourself prowless usually consists of dialing the phone, and asking dad to come over so he can fix my problem.

This time I decided to do it myself, and let dad enjoy his Sunday morning...and afternoon...I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning.

I have one of these in my toilet tank:



It's your classic float ball set-up. Well, many months earlier I purchased a unit to replace it, as shown below:



Behold the FLUID MASTER!! It's just a better mousetrap. Well, because I'm known to procrastinate, I never replaced the old set-up, and things were going fine...until the night of the party (Gillespie:Unplugged )

Now, I don't want to go blaming anyone for "breaking" the toilet, because truth be told, the flush valve was hooked to the flush handle with a piece of plastic, which just broke...so, Sue, I will not bring up the party responsible in any fashion whatsoever, because, Sue, it could have happened to anyone.

So, anyway, Becky told me the toliet was broken at the beginning of the party. I was able to rig it up to still flush, cautiously, and it made it through the night. Sunday, after I cleaned up the aftermath of the party, I decided to upgrade to the Fluid Master.

Should only take about 20 minutes, right?

Step 1: Turn off water. Check.
Step 2: Empty tank completely. Check.
Step 3: Remove old fill valve.

It was step three. Damn step three. I was twisting that fill valve for all I was worth, and it was NOT budging. I twisted and turned and pulled. No dice. I put the wrench in the toilet tank and twisted. That's when I heard a crack...I broke the overflow tube...cracked it right off.


(overflow tube: white tube. Flush Valve: Red thingy, technical term of course)

After a few minutes of cussing and slamming things, I discovered what most of you probably already know...there is a lock nut under the toilet tank. I tried to loosen it up, but again, no luck. I did the only thing I could think of...I took the whole toilet tank off, turned it upside down, and unscrewed the lock nut. (Bet you thought I was going to say "I called my dad" don't you!!)

I finally removed the old fill valve, replaced it with the Fluid Master, and made a trip to Lowe's to replace the broken overflow tube and flush valve. I return home, replace the broken parts, and hand tighten things up per directions, so as not to "crack the porcelein." I reattached the tank to the toilet, and the water supply line.

I went down and turned the water back on, and ran upstairs to find the water line spewing water!! I ran back down, turned the water back off, ran back upstairs, emptied the tank again, and tightened the lock nut WITH THE WRENCH and the supply line WITH THE WRENCH...screw this hand tightening crap.

Another trip to turn the water back on...SUCCESS!!

Or so I thought.

A few hours later, I saw a little water leaking...from the replaced flush valve UNDER THE TANK!! That's right, folks, I had to turn off the water AGAIN, empty the tank AGAIN, remove the tank AGAIN and tighten the flush valve lock nut. I reassembled, turned the water back on and I'll be a monkey's uncle...it still leaked!!

Turn off the water...
Empty tank...
Remove the tank...
Tighten lock nut WITH WRENCH...
Return tank...
Turn water back on...

This time, it was fine.

THREE HOURS LATER!!!!!!!! Yes, Sue, it only cost $5, but it took me 3 HOURS...not that I'm blaming Sue, of course, cause it could have happened to anybody.

Next time, I think I'll call Dad.

Gillespie: Unplugged

The Date: March 25, 2006
The Time: 7:00pm (Ok, the music started at 9:15)
The Place: El Casa de Gillespie
The Event: Gillespie Unplugged

The stage was set...

The microphone was in place...

And soon, the concert began...

(That's me, singing "Mr. Jones" by the Counting Crows)

The concert was postponed by more than an hour, as we waited for a few last people to arrive, but then the show started. Before I took the stage, Chris Johnson, my friend from the Class of '95, took the mic, and proceeded to warm the crowd up with a heart-warming tale from our childhood. (Thanks, Chris!!) And then, the show began...

I started with a song for the Class of '95, some of whom were in attendance. I managed not too mess up Better Than Ezra's "Good", before moving on to the above mentioned "Mr. Jones." That's were the trouble began.

Right in the middle of the chorus, I started singing the wrong words, and I froze. I managed to start again, but my confidence was shot. I shed the sweater, and soldiered on.

(Me, having recovered...)

More songs were sung, laughs were had. I past the guitar over to my good friend Big Daddy Staddy, (Dan Stadtmiller of the most kick assin'est band in Columbus, Bad Monkey) and he played some tunes, while the whole party sang along.

(Me and Freaky von Teaky, (Brian Wilhelm) singing Dead or Alive...Big Daddy Staddy on the axe)

As Dan played, we had some guest singers...Brian (above) and the lovely and talented Ella Hoke(below).

(Ella wowing the crowd as Burchie (Shannon Burch) looks on, and sings along)

Then, we danced...

(Me and Ella doing the Jimmy Fallon dance)

And toasted the evening...

(Toasting the night)

Fun was had by all, I hope. If you were there, post me a comment...and most of all, thanks for coming and rockin' out!!

(Special thanks to Big Daddy Staddy for the great tunes while I danced like a fool!!...and mixin' up the great drinks...and making the invitations...WHAT A GREAT GUY!!)

(Also, special thanks to my beautiful bartender, Becky, who slung the drinks like a pro!!)

Me Irish Eye's Are Smilin'

Top O' the Morning to ya, my fellow lads and lassies!! 'Tis time for a wee bit o' celebration to commemorate St. Patrick's Day...the only saint to actually have a "holiday" that we here in the United States actually recognize with any zeal what-so-ever.

Having been told that my last name (Gillespie) is of Irish decent, coupled with my blind faith acceptance of that fact, I am a huge supporter and follower of this great holiday.

But what do we know about St. Patrick and his great holiday? Well, I did a little research and found some interesting things out.

1. St. Patrick is the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland. He was sold as a slave in his youth, but escaped and put his efforts into all things religion in order to help the Irish people.

2. That shamrock St. Patrick is holding? He used it to symbolise the Holy Trinity (The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit), and how they are all seperate elements of the same entity.

3. Green is associated with St Patrick's Day because it is the color of Spring, Ireland, and the shamrock.

4. After St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland, he waved his magic shamrock and millions of leprechauns sprouted and turned the entire country green...from the grass, to people's clothing, the rivers, and they even turned baby's poop green...a tradition that still lives on today!!

(Ok, so St. Patrick didn't run snakes out of Ireland, sprout Leprechauns or do anything else in the last statement...where's your sense of humor people??)


Anyway, regardless of what you believe, St. Patrick's day should be celebrated. Even if you aren't religious, it still symbolises the changing of the seasons...even if you aren't Irish is still gives you a reason to wear those hilarious "Kiss Me I'm Irish" buttons...and most importantly, St. Patrick's day give you an excuse to communicate with your fellow man, woman and child in a broken, poor Irish accent without being criticized too harshly.

Me Irish eyes are smiling', so in closing I would like to leave you with two things...

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand

and secondly...

May those who love us,
love us;and those who don't love us,
may God turn their hearts;
and if He doesn't turn their hearts,
may he turn their ankles
so we'll know them by their limping.

Flu Me? Flu You!!

Thursday began like any other day. Wake up late...get to work late...sit around. You know, normal stuff. By lunch time, then normal day was quickly being invaded by coughing, body aches, and fatigue.

By the five o'clock whistle, my behind couldn't get out of the chair.

The flu got me, brothers and sisters, and it got me hard. By 5:15, I had a sweater, two pair of socks and two blankets on me. A dose of medicine was administered, but it was in vain. Thursday night was horrible. The chills were monumental. After tossing and turning all night, sweating a river onto my pillow, and just not having a very good night, my fever broke, and I felt a little better.

I thought.

Friday morning I had four blankets on me, and I still couldn't keep my teeth from chattering.

It finally went away, thank goodness, just in time for Becky to get it. I tried my best to take care of her like she took care of me. She's feeling better now, too, so I guess all is well.

The flu sucks.

Funny Names

Names can be funny. No, I'm not talking about names that'll get your kid beat up (has anyone seen the show on MTV with the dude...yes, dude...named ASHLEY PARKER ANGEL?? Come on, who names their boy Ashley, especially when the last name is Angel?)

I'm talking funny names more like the ones Bart Simpson comes up with on the longest running animated sitcom of all times, The Simpsons.

You know... Amanda Hugenkiss...Oliver Clothesoff...Mike Rotch...and the ever famous Seymour Butz.

These are classics.

Well, driving home from work the other day, I saw a sign for a Sheriff canidate in the upcoming town elections whose name was Richard Funch. If my name was Dick Funch, I think I'd go by Richard, too.

Here are 5 more funny names of people I actually know where real.

# 5: Woodrow Stinger: One of my personal favorites, Woodrow Stinger evokes a twinge in my man regions everytime I hear the name. Of course, you have to remember that Woodrow was once a nickname for the little guy downstairs.

# 4: Richard Burns: "Oh, my Dick Burns..." No explanation needed.

# 3: Waqar Butt: No, I'm not making this up...how could I make that up? Waqar...for those of you who just don't see it, I prononce WACK-AR (Do I have to spell it out? Wack Her Butt!!!

# 2: Anita Head: Yup, another real person...

# 1: Norma Weinerholden: She was actually a student where my cousin works...the name speaks for itself.

Know any weird named people? I mean real people, not Simpson knock offs. Leave a comment and let me know!!

Keepin' It Real

Not much happenin', but I have to keep the people happy. So *cough* Hank *cough* this post is for you!! Click on the link, and enjoy!!


http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0206/rkelly/