An Alien Invasion!

The clock had just rolled over to 3:30 am. The morning found me outstretched on the couch with Hendrix carefully perched on my chest. The street light from across the road peeked through the window. The normally busy road was calm.

Suddenly, the white light shifted to an intense red, accented by a pulsing yellow. The white street light was engulfed in darkness as an image moved into view. The blinds obscured my view, but I was sure the large object with the glowing red and yellow light could only be one thing.

A UFO!

Panic began to set in as I pulled my arm around Hendrix, as if I could protect him from the impending alien invasion. Why did they choose Indiana? Why Columbus? Why my house?!?

My mind began to race with thoughts of what was in store for me. Maybe they would abduct me? Blow me up? Mind probe? ANAL PROBE?!? Fear...the thought of pain...the thought of the unknown...

Then, the light began to swirl again, and within seconds, it was gone. I was spared!! The UFO had passed me by.

Wait a minute, I think it was just the Garbage truck picking up my trash. Yeah, that was it, never mind.

UPDATE: Burger Trip

With the Big Burger Trip only days away, I called my "burger buddy," Dan, and worked on finalizing the plans.

Me: "You ready to kick some big burger butt!!"

Dan: "Yeah...kinda, I have this bad cough, I'm going to the doctor to get it checked out."

Me: "Crap...well, let me know what you find out."

A few hours later:

Dan: "Dude, just found out my cough is pneumonia."

Me: "Double crap!"

Dan: "I have some meds, I should be fine by Saturday, though."

A few hours later:

Dan: "My prescriptions are $200..."

Me: "Let's just pontpone."

Dan: "Yeah, that sounds like the best plan.

So, it looks like I will try and conquer the two pounder the first weekend in April. Two more months of preperation...that 2 pounder will be conquered!!

Round One: Tony vs the Two Pound Burger Trial Run

The challenge was set...2 lbs of hamburger, 8 hamburger buns, one tomato, half a head of lettuce, 6 slices of cheese and a 1/4 cup each of ketchup, mustard and mayo.

All of this in one hour.

I know what some of you are thinking..."oh, that's easy, I could do that no problem!!" But consider this: this burger is the equivilent to eating 8 Quarter Pounders from McDonalds. (that's eight Royales with cheese, for my European friends...)

EIGHT!

This is no easy task.

(click any photo to enlarge.)

(The goods.)




(One 2 lb. burger patty.)


(The burger cooks.)


(The burger goes on the fixins.)


(Add the cheese...)


(...and the buns...)


(Enter the challenger!)


(One hour time limit.)


(I'm ready to chow down!!)



(5 minutes in...)


(Still looking good.)


(10 minutes down...)


(Oh, I got this!!)


(Looks like I'm about half way through. It is at this point I realize I should have paced myself a little better. I tore through the first half, but I was definitely slowing down.)


(15 minutes in...)


(Iffy at best.)




(20 minutes in...)


(Ugh...I really hit the wall at this point.)




(25 minutes in...)


(It's not looking good.)


(The half way point.)



(At this point, I was gaging...not because I was full, not because of the bread...it was partially the burger, but mostly the condiments. The mayo was making me cringe!!)






(35 minutes in...)


(I could tell at this point that another bite of burger would be impossible. The burger and condiments were killing me.)


(I ate the last bun, and prepared to throw in the towel.)


(40 minutes in...)


(That's it...it's all over!!)


(Put a fork in me...I'm done.


(I'm throwing in the towel.)


(I finished choking down the last bun top.)


(I had one and a half bottom buns, and a little less than half pound of burger left.)


(The challenger had been defeated!!)

Before I ate, we made predictions on the outcome of the challenge.


(Hendrix wrote this note...awe, isn't he sweet, he loves his daddy no matter what happens! Yes, that's what it says...I'm his dad, I know!!)


(I predicted domination...I was wrong.)


(Becky was right, she knew I could not defeat the 2 pounder.)

Overall, I learned a lot. Pace myself more, maybe eat more burger and less buns first, as the buns were easy to eat at the end. And above all, hope like crazy the mayo isn't as thick at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub!

The trip is February 21st...I will post my results soon thereafter!!

Two Pounder Trial Run Tonight!!

Friends, I have a few upcoming blogs that will be of great interest to you...

My friend, Dan, and I are going on a road trip February 21st to a place called Denny's Beer Barrel Pub in Pennsylvania. What's so exciting about a little pub in PA?? THIS:



I know the pic is small, but the burger is not. This is the "small" 2 lb burger that Denny's offers, and I am going to eat it. They also offer a 3, 6 (Ye Olde 96er), 15 50 and 123 lb burger. I will not eat those.

Tonight, I am going to do a trial run with 2 lbs of burger, 8 buns, one full tomato, condiments, cheese, etc. Becky thinks I should do a trial run just to see how hard it'll be. So, I will. Becky will be photographing my progress, and I will post in a few days, when I'm out of this burger coma.

I only worry about two things: the buns, and the one hour time limit.

I will post again soon, wish me luck!!