Something Smells Fishy

I am not a great outdoorsman.

I accept this.

But every year, Becky and I get our fishing license and swear that this is gonna be the year we catch and eat fish all summer. We tried last year. We went out a handful of times to different locales. Do you know how many fish I caught?

Zero. None. Nadda. Bupkis.

Becky would always catch a few, but never enough for us to take them home. It's very frustrating. We hoped this year would be better, so a few weeks back, we bought our licenses, got some worms, and trekked over to the Greensburg Reservoir for some hard core fishing. "This time," I said, "we aren't leaving without enough to eat!!"

I figured that 6 or 7 good sized bluegill would fill us up nicely with some fries, so we set our goal at 6. What I didn't realize at the time was 6 would be the number of hours we would sit on the bank trying to catch some fish!! I spent more time un-mossing my line than I did actually fishing! I wasn't even getting any action...and to make matters worse, this older guy at one point came walking down the bank. He would throw his line out, and reel a fish in.

Every time.

I would hear him pulling one in, so I would stop and watch. He'd take it off the hook, and toss it back in the water. Cast, hook, release. At one point, he caught one, looked straight at me and tossed the fish back into the water without releasing his stare at me.

I was pissed.

You can catch fish you old turd, but don't mock me while doing it!! He came right next to us and started fishing only a few steps away.

Him: "Having any luck?"

Me: "No."

Him: "I catch 75 to 100 fish a day in here."

Me: "Well, that's 75 to 100 more than we've caught."

I got up and left. I didn't like his smugness. Becky was having a little luck, pulling in one fish an hour. If you do the math, 1 fish an hour for 6 hours = 6 fish!! We did it, we reached our goal.

Ok, Becky reached our goal. I caught nothing.

We went to my mom and dad's house to get some cleaning tips, since we've never cleaned or cooked fish before. (Quit snickering, I said I am not a great outdoorsman, ok?!?) When I asked them if they knew how to clean a fish, they both quickly turned their heads and pretended they didn't have a clue.

"Uh, no...cleaning fish, um...I'm not really sure...ahhh."

After I assured them I was going to do it myself, and I just needed pointers, they came clean with some info. Becky and I took them home, and began the cleaning process. Remove head, scale, remove fins, remove innards (that's a technical term for guts). This process would have been easier with a sharp knife. It's not as easy to cut a fish head off when you have to saw it, just take my word for it.

We managed to clean all 6 of our...I mean, Becky's...fish, and we took them inside for cooking. We dipped them in milk (to kill the fishy smell while cooking. Thanks for the tip, mom!!) and put some batter on them. I wasn't sure exactly how to cook them, so I put the oil in the pan, turned it on, and went to the internet for help. After a few minutes, I returned to the kitchen to find it engulfed in smoke!! I guess letting oil cook on the stove without anything in it isn't the best move.

We put the fish in whole, and cooked them for awhile. After they were nearly finished, we pulled the fish apart and removed the backbones. Then, we ate. Surprisingly, six fish did fill us up!! I don't know if it was worth six hours of fishing and another hour of cleaning and cooking, but it was rather tasty.

Anyone have a good method of getting that fish smell off my hands??