Have you ever seen these laser pointer thingy-mo-bobbers? You know, the little keychain deals that jack-assed adolencence take to the local Multi-Plex Movie House and shine the little dot on Julia Roberts's toothy grin, or Angelina Jolie's big, big .... er ... lips?
Ok, my question is:
Who the heck was the genius who thought this was a good idea?
Genius: "I'm tired of pointing at that presentation with my finger. What can I invent that would allow me to not have to use my finger, AND I can shine it from across the room?"
Non- Genius: "I don't know, I'm too dumb to think up any inventions."
Genius: "Ah, I have it!! I will have a laser beam across the room, and it will to the trick?"
Non- Genius: "But what if someone shines the laser in their eye?"
Genius: "Shut up!!"
So, the laser pointer was born. Hello, genius...
1. What if someone points the laser beam in their eye?
Answer: Put on a disclaimer.
2. What if an illiterate or small child gets it?
Answer: Shut Up!!
3. Most importantly, haven't you ever seen a movie with a gun? Hello?!? RED LASER POINTER ON THE GUNS!!
"Wherever the red dot goes, YA BANG!!" (Come on, people, go watch Friday the 13th Part 6 for the love of God!!)
Answer: None...come on genius, make the laser blue, at least!!
(NOTE: Don't shine the laser pointer where people are...I shone it down the hallway here at work to see how far the beam went, and some guy came around the corner, dropped to his knees, pee'd his pants, and started sucking his thumb. Sorry about that!!)
Ok, I've lost my train of thought, and I can't see out of my left eye because this laser beam really shouldn't be pointed directly at your eye!!
2 comments:
weren't asshats pointing those things at airplanes a while back and shit hit the fan? hate those things... so... much.
Ms Bees Knees: I totally forgot about that!! Indeed it happened, but they must have had Super Pointer, cause mine doesn't shine more than 30 feet, tops.
Phoenix: I use to tease my cat with a laser pointer, too...but damn, that's just too cruel!! Poor kitty can NEVER get the dot, NEVER!! Don't you think that's sad?
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