Who Are You?

Monday mornings are the worst. After adjusting yourself to stay up as late as possible on the weekends, along creeps Monday morning to snap you back to reality with a judo chop.

After waking up slightly late, I rushed to take a shower, got dressed and grabbed all the necessities for the work day ahead. Unfortunately, I forgot one crutial element.

No, it wasn't my pants, you perverts!!

It was my security badge.

You see, the building I work in is all James Bond and stuff. Very high tech, very Top Secret, very secured. You need a badge to enter, even if you work in the Document Center like I do. My office is directly inside the back door, and I talk to, or at least see, nearly everyone in the building, everyday. Basically, I am very well known within the building.

(Please refer to Movin' On Up if you don't believe me.)

I decided to keep on truckin' to work, since I was half-way there already, late, and too lazy to drive back to the house and go inside to retrieve my badge. I figured a couple of things could happen:

1. Someone would be outside smoking, and they would let me in.
2. I could get to work, and use the cell phone to call my co-worker to let me in.
3. I could pound on the door until someone heard it, and let me in.

Being the lazy person I am, I didn't want to expend the effort to call my co-worker, and pounding on the door is so rude, I decided to wait for a smoker. Soon after I arrived at the back door, the garage door opened. It wasn't a smoker, but it was my way in.

The lady who opened the door was from the Data Center. She was a pleasant women whom I spoke to often. Seeing my opportunity, I slipped in under the garage door, waved hello to the Data Center lady and made my way to a second door which opens up five feet away from my office.

But that door, too, needed the badge to be opened.

I patiently waited for the Data Center lady to finish her business with the Security tape delivery guy, then I asked her politely if she would let me in, as I had forgotten my badge.

Her: "What's your name?"
Me: Stunned "Uh, Tony, I work right across the hall."
Her: "Tony what?"

At this point I was stunned beyond belief. I've worked here for 5 years and you are asking me who I am? I stuttered my full name, and proceeded to provide her with enough nervous information to make an innocent man seem guilty.

Finally, she agreed, only after I walked her the full five feet to my office, showed her my desk (which has a picture of me on it) and had my co-worker vouch for me (which she reluctantly did, because she thought Data Center lady was just kidding, too.)

Needless to say, I never leave the house without my security badge anymore, and I make sure everytime I see Data Center lady in the hall, I greet her by name, just to make sure she knows I exist.