The ROOT Of All Evil

Kids, take care of your teeth. Don't spend your life in the dentist chair...nobody needs that trauma.

I went to the dentist today. I have this tooth, you see, that is in bad shape. Last year, I chipped in on a Taco Bell Burrito (how you may ask? Well, let's just say it had more to do with my wisdom teeth pushing my teeth together, than the burrito.) Anyhoo, the tooth continued to chip, and gap and in general, crumble away.

Last week I hit rock bottom. The pain was bad, so I scheduled the dreaded dentist appointment. Let me say this about my past experiences with dentist:

When I was younger, I didn't go. When I got a little older, I did...to the tune of about a dozen fillings. After the last one, I vowed to never go back and get "The Shot." You know the one I'm talking about...the mouth numb shot they give you that's suppose to make the proceedure painless. Forgot one thing, THE SHOT HURTS!!

I hate that shot.

I succeeded in my plan to abstain from dentists until a few years ago. I had a bad tooth that led to the dentist chair. That's when the bad things started.

1. I needed a double root canal.
2. They wanted to do it right now.
3. "The Shot" hurt mighty bad.
4. "The Shot" didn't work.
5. The pain was comparable to the following. Tooth...nail on tooth...tap, tap, SLAM!! Nail IN tooth. Pain ensues.
6. "The Shot #2...#3...#4...
7. Then, a mystery substance was poured into my gapping tooth.
8. Doctor forgets to tell me this will make my heart race.
9. Faux Seizure...I say Faux, cause it wasn't a seizure, but I was shaking around like I was having one.
10. 5 or 6 total trips
11. Several hundreds of dollars.
12. Me vowing to never have a root canal again.

This time, the tooth was one of the top back ones...by the pointy tooth, not a molar. That was nice, because when the doctor pulled it, it shouldn't be noticable. That's what I had planned on, a pulled tooth. The doctor had other plans. He wanted... dun, Dun, DUN!! The root canal. "It won't hurt," he said. "Yeah, that's what the last dentist said, too," I responded.

I sat in the chair for ten minutes explaining why I didn't want the root canal.

"It's either that, or I'll pull it and give you a bridge." A bridge, apparently, involves drilling and what not, too...plus it's more expensive.

Ten more minutes...

"What if you pull it and don't put in a bridge?"
"Your teeth will shift. It's like taking a brick from the center of a wall...eventually the foundation will start to crumble...blah, blah, blah."

Five more minutes.

"You want me to make up your mind for you, don't you?" he says. No, I want to get UP AND LEAVE!!

So, I made my decision. Pull it. (thinking, ha ha!! I just won't come back for the bridge, sucka!!)

He leaned in for "The Shot." And you know something? For the first time EVER...the shot did not hurt!! I was beeming with confidence. I shook his hand and thanked him a couple times just for the shot not hurting.

He came back and I, with my new found confidence, beemed "Root Canal!!"

And so it was. He slapped a root canal on me, and I only flinched one time (and that was because I was so confortable, when I finally felt a little pain, I flinched.)

Pain scale from 1-10, 10 being high...probably 2. Most of that came from sitting with all that stuff running down my throat. Pain level was a 1.

Thank you, Dr. Gerry, for giving me hope that dental surgery doesn't have to hurt.

Until the bill comes...