Friday, August 27, 2004

Smoked Turkey

Being in the mail service field (sorry ladies, that's MAIL service, not MALE service), I have come across many odd things being delivered to people. There was the baseball bat with a software company's logo burned into it. And who could forget the 10 pound smoked turkey?

Well, yesterday, I heard of a few things that blow the feathers right off a smoked turkey. Our UPS delivery man came in with a story that he read in the papers about a foreign woman who shipped herself via DHL to America. She made it past customs, she (luckily for her) made it onto a commercial airline and not a cargo plane...for those of you not in the know, a cargo plane is not pressurized, and she would have died...and she made it to the US with only a cell phone and probably some Cheetos or other food stuffs because everybody has to eat, right?

When the DHL guy came in, we inquired on the DHL Woman. He confirmed the story...but he had one that was even better.

See, the DHL guy use to work for Fed Ex before. One day, he went to work at the main hub in Indianapolis. Soon after arriving, a couple of guys in suits walked in and ordered the conveyers to be stopped.

The suits: FBI.

They were looking for a particular package that they had received a tip on. They found it. It was then that the story was explained.

It seems that some crazy mo'fo decided his wife was giving him too much static, so he killed her. Then he cut off her head and used Fed Ex to ship it to the woman's mother. Well, for some reason, he called the authorities and told them what he did (the guy was crazy, after all). Upon getting the tip, they raced in, stopped the show, and retreived the head.

Maybe that wasn't a smoked Turkey after all...

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