Angry Rant #2

Ok, so I'm driving down the road, listening to some talk radio (a grown man can only take so much Hoob and Johnny Cougar) and the main lady is talking about a gathering of casual acquaintances she was recently a part of (to be more specific, work collegues). So, as the story goes, the group was eating, chatting, and what not. Upon the completion of the meal, one of the lady's co-workers (who was sitting next to her) asked her if she would like any of his unfinished salad before it was taken away. (Apparently, she was eyeballing it the whole meal.)

She, of course, says yes. Well, after awhile, her husband pulls her to the side, upset that she ate off of this guy's plate. Are you ready for this? He was mad because this guy's fork was in his mouth, on the plate, in his mouth...and then her fork was in her mouth, on the plate, in her mouth. This made the husband mad, because that was "the same as kissing" the salad guy!!

Are you kidding me?

This is just wrong on so many levels. But, yes, it gets worse. The talk lady says she's sorry and won't do it again because she doesn't want to hurt the feelings of her ex-Navy Seal husband (how can someone so upset over double-dipping in the lettuce be a Navy Seal?). The co-host guy, who obviously is scared out of his mind of the talk lady, agrees.

The topic is changed to "What constitutes cheating in a relationship?" To which the first lady with a working phone, calls in and says Strip Clubs. Aye, yi, aye!! STRIP CLUBS?!? Now, first and foremost, if you go there a lot, spend all your money, think the girls are hot for you, etc...then you're not cheating, you're crazy. But Talk Lady starts putting her two cents in which, nut shell, she agrees with the caller, saying:

"All guys who go to Strip Clubs and are in relationships are definately cheating because their intent is to hook up."

ALL GUYS?!? Again, are you kidding me? Some guys just like to hang out with friends, or drink a few beers, or enjoy the occasional boob being rubbed on his face, that doesn't mean ALL GUYS are going there to hook up.

Then, crazy caller number two calls in, agreeing, and adds looking at porno mags is cheating. Again, the talk lady agrees. Where is the line going to be drawn?

1. No Strip Clubs
2. No Playboyesque mags
3. No Movies featuring naked ladies (CRAP!! I watched Eurotrip the other day when Becky was asleep, and it had a naked pair of brests!! I am a cheating dog!!)
4. No watching movies with women in them period.
5. No looking at any woman!!
6. No reading books with women in them!
7. PLUCK YOUR EYES OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!

Of course, that is extreme, but it could get there. Maybe there would be a compromise:

"You can do things 3, 4, 6." Until, you do one of those things, and then it's...

"I said you could do them when I was with you!!"

or, the famous

"It was ok then, but it's not now."

What am I talking about? Jealousy, people. Plain and simple. It's ugly, it's evil, and it's crazy. We know more about jealousy than we do about a little thing called TRUST. Look it up. I know if Becky eats off another guy's plate she isn't kissing him. Same if she looks at porn, or goes to the All Male review. Doesn't bother me.

"Why would you want to look at other girls, if you are satisfied with the one you have?"

Well, I can tell you it's not because I want that girl to jump out of the mag and have an affair with me...and you can trust me when I say it.