The Fix Is In

If you thought I watched too much tv before, read on.

Becky and I watch a lot of Reality TV, and we have found something a bit suspicious. Could it be, the outcomes are predetermined? Let's look at the facts:

AMERICAN IDOL

Winners:

Season 1: Kelly Clarkson
Season 2: Ruben Studdard (who robbed Clay Aiken)
Season 3: Fantasia Barrino

Hum...Girl, Guy, Girl. I predict a Male winner from Season 4.

BIG BROTHER

Season 1: Eddie
Season 2: Will
Season 3: Lisa
Season 4: Jun
Season 5: Drew

Interesting...Guy, Guy, Girl, Girl, Guy. Again, I predict a Male winner on Season 6.

AMAZING RACE

Season 1: Rob and Brennan
Season 2: Chris and Alex
Season 3: Zach and Flo
Season 4: Reichen and Chip
Season 5: Chip and Kim

Ok, this is a little different because of the team concept. However...Male/Male, Male/Male, Male/Female, Male/Male, Male/Female...

What is interesting is this: Season 1 and 2, All Male. Season 3 = M/F. Season 4 was again M/M, but the contestants were the first Gay Couple to win. Season 5 was again M/F BUT there was only ONE, yes ONE All Male team. And, this couple was the first African-American Couple to win.

Diversity. Who will win 6? I predict a Woman/Woman, an Elderly Couple or an Asian Couple.

SURVIVOR

1: Richard Hatch - Borneo
2: Tina Wesson - Outback
3: Ethan Zohn - Africa
4: Vecepia Towery - Marquesas
5: Brian Heidik - Thailand
6: Jenna Morasca - Amazon
7: Sandra Diaz-Twine - Panama
8: Amber Brkich - All Star
9: Chris Daugherty - Vanautu

Man, Woman, Man, Woman, Man, Woman, Woman, Woman, Man

They mixed it up a little, But if you throw in Rupert (who won a Million on All-Stars for being the Most Loved Player) you have 5 Men, and 5 Women taking home the top prize.

Interesting split.

I predict a Man will win #10.

APPRENTICE

Season 1: Bill Rancic
Season 2: Kelly Perdew

See? Man, Woman...oh. wait, Kelly was a Man, too? Ok, Man, Man...but I predict #3 will be a Woman...and #4.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

1: Adrianne
2: Yoanna
3: Eva

Woman, Woman, Woman...Geez, why hasn't a guy won this? Still, I predict UPN will crown a Woman in Season 4...and, to go out on a limb, I predict a woman in Season 5 as well...call me crazy!!

So there you have it... draw your own conclusions, but I think there is a fix in Reality Land.

Honorable Mentions

A few Honorable Mentions in the "TV Wives Who Married Down" contest.

Grounded For Life

Megyn Price

...and her tv husband...

Donal Logue

The Simpsons

Marge Simpson

...and her tv husband...

Homer J. Simpson

TOP 5 TV WIVES WHO MARRIED DOWN

Over the past several years, I have noticed a trend in television. Yes, there are more Reality Shows, but the trend I am talking about isn't the sprouting of unpaid people eating bugs, but rather the Un-Realistic coupling of today's tv couples.

It seems that the women on tv are always super hot, and the husbands are, to be blunt, schlubs. Here is my Top 5 TV Wives Who Married Down...

#5: Tie: Yes, Dear and According to Jim.

Yes, Dear
Jean Louisa Kelly

...and her tv husband...

Anthony Clark

As you can see, Jean Louisa is not a bad catch. Anthony Clarke, however, is a dork. On the show, he is also a whiny little girl. An obvious "downgrade" for Miss Kelly.

According to Jim
Courtney Thorne-Smith

...and her tv husband...

Jim Belushi

Jim Belushi isn't a bad looking guy, and his brother was the ultra cool John Belushi, but I still think we have a mis-match here.

#4: Listen Up!

Wendy Makkena

...and her tv husband...

Jason Alexander

Love ya, George Costanza, but you don't deserve Ms Makkena.

#3: Everybody Loves Raymond

Patricia Heaton

...and her tv husband...

Ray Romano

This is a no brainer. Patricia Heaton is not only one sexy momma, but Ray is a doofus who plays golf, neglects the kids, and basically, does nothing!! She definately married down!!

#2: King of Queens

Leah Remini

...and her tv husband...

Kevin James

Kevin, oh, Kevin. You are one of the funniest guys I have every seen, but you do not deserve Leah Remini. Just look at the picture!!! Smokin'.

#1: Still Standing

Jami Gertz

...and her tv husband...

Mark Addy

I want to say Leah Remini is better looking than Jami Gertz...but I just can't. And look at the husband!! I would take Kevin James over Mark Addy...if I was a girl, of course.

Congrats, Jami Gertz, you settled WAY too low. You could have done much better!!

SOLD!!

That last post...the one about the Sebring for sale...yeah, forget that.

It's gone. Good riddance. I liked the car, but the "problems" were so overbearing. It was time. The saddest part was that I didn't even have the car long enough to bond with it. Yes, I bond with my cars. Haven't you ever named your car? Well, the Sebring didn't get a name.

(The Escort I had before that, for, like 10 years, was affectionately dubbed Betsy...just in case you were curious.)

Becky and I travelled down the road in our PT Cruiser (Becky's car) looking for a replacement for the Sebring, which sat, dead, in the driveway. We stopped a few places...saw some overpriced cars (2004 Mustang Convertible for 28,000? YIKES!!) and finally ended up at Fletcher Chrsyler.

Here's the condensed story on our dealings with Fletcher Chysler.

We bought the PT Cruiser there. A year later, we bought the Sebring there. The Sebring, as I have mentioned in the past postings, was, for the most past, a turd. The battery had to be charged a week after we got it, and 4 months later, the battery was replaced all together. I called Fletcher up, and they said,

"It's past the 3 month warranty, sorry, nothing we can do."

Nothing we can do? How about treating your repeat customers with some respect and at least looking at the car. I should have known that's how they operate. When we bought the Sebring, it had new rims, and the dealer rims were in the trunk, and they were part of the deal. When we picked the car up...the rims were gone. We eventually got them back, but, come on.

So, we stopped anyway. I have a knack for wanting to trust people who are not to be trusted. Becky kept the car warm, as I wandered inside to inquire on a newer Sebring. Why another Sebring? You try to find a cheap convertible!!

The salesman quoted a few prices, $11,000 for the '01...$18,000 for the '04...then he pointed in the direction of the PT Cruiser Convertibles...

Becky and I had tried to get one in the summer, but they were $32,000 and $600 a month. OUCH!! But here we stood, on the USED car lot, staring at a PT Convertible.

I won't tell you how much the car was, but let's say it was about half the cost of the new one. I grabbed Becky, and we hashed out a deal. It was a good one, too. We shook hands and agreed to bring the Sebring to him the next day.

One problem...the Sebring was dead in the driveway, it was 8:30 pm, we still had to eat dinner, and the CAR WAS DEAD!! We drove our dueling PT Cruisers back towards Columbus (yes, we took the new car home...I had to have something to drive to work!!) and made the plan.

We could either replace the battery or charge it. Since Auto Zone was probably closed, and I didn't find taking the tire off and changing the battery in 20 degree weather appealing, we opted for the charge. (Plus, it was a good chance to stick a crap battery on the people who stuck me with a crap battery.)

We ate, and I headed towards the 'Burg for my dad's charger. 10:00pm, 30 minutes one way. Oh, well. I got the charger, got back home and hooked the car up. The key locks worked, so I knew we were in business. I would leave it on over night, and all would be well.

This is the part where all was not well.

After charging for 18 HOURS, I unhooked the battery charger at 5:00pm the following day, cranked the engine, and...nothing....zero....zilch...NAAKA!!

I frantically started to tear the tire off the car, determined to replace the battery and make it to the appointment we set for 6:30pm. I got the tire off, pulled the flap in the wheel well off, and I heard the door unlock. "What the ...?"

It seems all I needed to do was wiggle the wires. I got up, cranked the car, and it was alive. I left it running (for fear it would never start again) as I replaced the flap and the tire. I washed up, and we headed off.

On the way to Franklin, I talked to my Sebring, begging for it to start "one more time" so the dealer would give the green light. I even named the car on that last trip...Goldie (the car was gold colored.)

We listened to "Daughters" by John Mayer, and "Lady" by Lenny Kravitz...and together, we made it to the dealer. Funny part was, the dealer didn't even try to start Goldie. I guess they had faith that if I could drive it there, it would start again. Suckers!!

After we signed the papers, it didn't matter if they could start it or not. At that point, there would be "nothing I could do."

97 Sebring Convertible For Sale

Why is it that things go wrong when you really don't want things to go wrong? You know what I'm saying...
...the A/C doesn't break down when it's "fairly hot", it breaks down on the hottest day of the year...

...the transmission doesn't drop right after you get your tax check, it drops when you are dead broke...

Things like that.

Well, after my interview, I got back to work in Columbus. At the end of the day...the car was dead. I jumped it, ran it for about 25 minutes, and went home. I hit the power lock and nothing happened...this is, keep in mind, right after I turned the car off. I put the key back into the ignition and turned it. Dead.

This happens every year. Right when it gets cold...really cold. I end up walking to work. NOT FUN. Couldn't have happened in the summer, could it? And gas is only $1.59. Would have been nice to lose the car when gas was $2.00 a gallon, but no!!

The first year I got the car, I had to replace the battery. The next year I again had to replace the battery...twice. I had the alternator checked, and it was fine. I had the connections and the wires checked, and they were fine.

What's draining the battery? At this point, I don't care. Three years, 4 batteries?

My buddy said to replace the wires...I told him I'm going to replace the car.

Anybody want a 97 Sebring Convertible?

Job Interview

I had a job interview the other day with Cummins Engine Company. If you know anything about Columbus, Indiana, you know about Cummins. My dad works there, and has for a long time. As he put it a few years back, "25 down, 25 to go."

The interview was in Seymour, 20 miles away. No biggie, except I had to get up a lot earlier than I normally do. I'm not much of a morning person, but I managed. When I arrived, I was taken to a small room and questioned, poked, prodded, attacked...

It was two and a half hours of tourture.

Ok, so it wasn't torture. I had three seperate interviews, and each time the people asked me the same questions.

"Tell me about a time when you multi-tasked in order to ... blah, blah, blah."

Of course, I totally went into Saleman voice mode...

"Well, Mr. Jones, I'm glad you asked that...."

I think overall, the interviews went fairly well, but I won't know anything for awhile.

Ain't the English Language Fun?

Becky and I were at lunch today, and the topic of conversation turned to what we were going to make for dinner. (Yes, it does indeed take a special person to talk about a FUTURE meal, while consuming a CURRENT one.) We then realized we neglected to get anything out of the freezer, and thusly, all of our choices would be frozen.

This is where the conversation took a philosophical turn.

"I will dethaw the hamburger when we get home." Becky began. "Or is it thaw?"

Wow, I thought dethaw sounded right, but why would you de-thaw something? Wouldn't that mean you were actually freezing it? De meaning un. Or is that even right?

We pondered that for a few moments before coming to the conclusion that "thaw" was a funny sounding word.

Anyhoo, according to Dictionary.com, both thaw and dethaw mean the same thing. I won't bore you with the dictionary definition, but it was basically "changing from solid to liquid."

Just another example of how difficult we make our language. I personally still like the conversations my dad and I had about the word regardless, and his struggle to convince me that irregardless or regardless both could be used.

(NOTE: from dictionary.com

"Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term.")

So, there.

Move Over, Einstein

The dream is over.

Jeopardy champion, Ken Jennings, has been defeated. Tuesday night, Jennings lost to California Real Estate agent, Nancy Zerg.

Here are the Ken Jennings stats:

$2,520,700 in prize winnings
74 wins
Average of: $34,063.51 per show
$75,000 in one game
2,700 + correct answers given
150 contestants defeated

Zerg defeated Jennings in Final Jeopardy. Zerg ended with 14,001 to Jennings 8,799.

The Final Jeopardy Awswer:

Most of this firm's 70,000 seasonal white-collar employees work only four months a year.

What is H&R Block?

Zerg answered correctly, Jennings wrote Fed Ex.

At least she beat him by getting the question correctly. (too bad Ken lost 10,000 on blotched Daily Doubles).

For his troubles, H&R Block offered Jennings free lifetime tax help, which he graciously accepted. Their first task? How much taxes would be taken out of the enourmous prize.

Answer: $1.04 million.

After the show, Jennings said: "I'm actually cheering for somebody to beat my record. How cool would that be? But, realistically, I don't think there's much of a chance ... So many lucky things had to happen. Everything had to fall the right way."

Well, let's just hope Nancy Zerg isn't a fluke, and can actually carry the torch for a few games. Is she still on there? Maybe she lost last night, I don't know, without Ken, I have no reason to watch.

(SIDE NOTE: I would like to add a BOO to channel 13...the station which airs Jeopardy...for it's poor placement of advertising. Alex told the contestants that the Final Jeopardy catergory was Business and Industry, and then the station took a commercial break. The last commercial before the show came back on was a promo for the News at 11. The segment they featured?

"Tonight we talk with Ken Jennings about his run on Jeopardy."

Why not just say, Ken losses tonight on Jeopardy? That was poor.)

Battle at the Palace

November 19, 2004

Being from Indiana, I would be remiss if I did not comment on the "Pacers/Pistons Brawl" just over a week ago. I know a lot of you are tired of reading about, hearing about, or seeing the incident...if so, skip this post. But if you want my two cents on it...in depth, read on.

I have done a little research in order to put myself in David Stern's shoes. How would I have handled the situation? After reviewing the tapes (numerous times), brushing up on past incidents, and waiting a week (to weed away any predjudice I may have), I have concluded the following:

Let's start at the beginning.

A little under a minute in the game, Artest fouls Ben Wallace.

Artest faces Wallace and starts to extend his right hand towards the Pistons Center, as if to say, "No hard feelings," and Wallace answers by giving Artest a two-handed-Elaine from Seinfeld-push to Artest's chest and face (one hand struck Artest in the nose.)

Artest makes a point, as he is retreating from the situation, to ask the ref if his foul was a "flagrant foul." The ref responded "no."

After this Artest laid on the scorer's table. Because Reggie Miller, Chauncey Billups, Derrick Coleman, and Elden Campbell left the bench after the initial shove, they are automatically suspended one game.

This is where things get hairy, and hard to sort out.

Both benches emptied...Stephen Jackson taunted the Pistons, looking as if he was ready to "throw down"...Wallace throws a towel at Artest...and then the "cup" is thrown from the crowd, hitting Artest in the chest/face.

Artest entered the stands, and made a bee line towards a shouting Piston fan. His left arm swooped down, grabbing the fan and throwing him to the ground. I never saw Artest "hit" this guy, just throw him to the ground. In fact, the fan even said after the game:

"He was on top of me," fan Mike Ryan of Clarkston said. "He asked me, 'Did you do it?' I said, 'No, man. No!'"



Of course, a joker who threw a drink in Artest's face next wasn't so lucky, as Stephen Jackson clocked him with a roundhouse right.

The fan who actually threw the "cup" igniting the brawl, is next seen grabbing Artest from behind and throwing a series of punches to the back of his head. Several players (Rasheed Wallace, etc.) enter the stands and pull the players out.

As Security is trying to help in the stands, several fans enter the court. One of them, a man in a Pistons jersey, approached Artest on the court, shouting at him. Artest punched him in the face, knocking the man to the floor before leaving the court. Artest was pulled away, and the fan charged back. Jermaine O'Neal stepped in and punched another man who joined the scrum.

More craziness ensues, a chair is thrown, and the Pacers are doused with coke, popcorn and other concessions as the exit they court.

The League hands down the following suspensions:

Ron Artest: Out for Season (73 games)
Jackson: 30 games
O'Neal: 25 games
Ben Wallace: 6 games

(Anthony Johnson - 5, Reggie Miller - 1, Chauncey Billups - 1, Derrick Coleman - 1, Elden Campbell -1).

Are these penalties fair?

Ben Wallace

At first, I was shocked he ONLY received a 6 game suspension. But, here's some additional information:

In last year's playoffs, Anthony Peeler connected with an elbow to Kevin Garnett's face: Suspended 1 game, plus $7,500.

In 1996, Dennis Rodman was suspended 6 games for head butting a ref.

Seems like 6 was excessive...HOWEVER, I believe hard fouls, like the one Artest gave Wallace, are a dime a dozen in the NBA, and the main cause of the "riot" was Wallace's actions.

The push, the throwing of the towel, and the irrational behavior after having been ejected from the game (which I think was the main contributor of the "riot"), in my opinion should have warranted a longer suspension.

Commissioner Gillespie hands down the following:

Ben Wallace - suspended for 10 games.
Reason: Instigating a "riot", shoving a player in the face/chest, not leaving the playing area immediately upon being ejected, throwing a towel.

Stephen Jackson

If any one player was LOOKING for a fight, it seemed to be Stephen Jackson. His conduct from the start was of the "non-peacekeeping" kind. Before Artest went into the stands, he was verbally confronting the Pistons...then he squared up like he was ready to fight and pulled his jersey out of his shorts. And, of course, he wailed on many a Piston fan in the stands.

30 games. There really is no president to go by for Jackson's actions. But, I'll try. Throwing a punch to a player (whether it lands or not) is an automatic one game suspension.

A few years back, Shaq was suspended 3 games and fined $15,000 when he threw two roundhouse punches at Brad Miller.

Marcus Camby of the Knicks received a 5 game suspension for sucker punching Danny Ferry.

And who could forget Kermit Washington's roundhouse right on Rudy Tomjanovich in 1977? It left Rudy T's face shattered, and his career over. The suspension? 26 games.

Of course, these are all attacks on other players. Jackson went into the stands, and hit fans.

Commissioner Gillespie hands down the following:

Stephen Jackson - suspended for 15 games.

Reason: taunting, entering the stands, punching fans, not keeping the peace.

Jermaine O'Neal

What, really, did Jermaine do? He didn't enter the stands. He didn't taunt any players. He didn't punch or try to punch and players. What he did do is come to the aid of Ron Artest when a fan started cracking wise out on the court. Ok, I agree, "coming to the aid" isn't exactly what he was doing, but still, I consider this 25 game suspension ridiculous. In football, if a fan enters the field of play, they are fair game. A lineman is welcome to run over them.

I also heard a story on the radio in the days after the "brawl" about wrestling. A caller who wrestles in a semi professional federation, said that if a fan comes from the audience and tries to interject into the match (be it in the ring, or in the area of the ring) the wrestlers have the right to dispense pain upon that fan. One time, a fan came out of the stands, and BOTH wrestlers in the match stopped wrestling, and began beating the guy silly. The caller went on to say: "I pulled the guys arms backwards until they snapped." Suspension? Fines? Nope.

The closest I could find was a 1997 suspension handed to Dennis Rodman for kicking a photographer. He was suspended for 11 games. (the photographer was NOT on the court, but close.)

Commissioner Gillespie hands down the following:

Jermaine O'Neal - 3 game suspension

Reason: It looks bad on the game if players are hitting fans.

Ron Artest

Hard foul...eh. He was trying to make peace with Wallace afterwards which resulted in his being pushed harder than the foul. Then, he backed away. Sure he was arrogant in laying down, but he was calm and level headed. He showed a little temper when the towel was thrown. Still, no problem. Then, the cup flew.

He entered the stands...that should gain a suspension. But how long?

Back before televised games, Jerry Sloan, now the Head coach of the Jazz, was hit with an aerosol can while in a huddle. He entered the stands and began screaming at the fan. Suspension? None.

In 1995, Vernon Maxwell of the Houston Rockets entered the stands and PUNCHED a fan that was heckling him. Suspension? 10 games.

10 GAMES!!

Artest didn't even hit that first guy. Watch the tape. He grabbed him with his left hand and threw him down. He didn't even make a fist. Even after the guy was down he didn't make a fist. He yelled at him "did you do it?" and then other fans grabbed him and began hitting hin. I didn't really see him hit any of those fans. Maybe he was swinging his arms to get away, maybe he was punching them...it's hard to tell. I would call that "self defense".

Of course, we can't argue he hit the fan on the floor. But again, on the floor, fair game.

Commissioner Gillespie hands down the following:

Ron Artest - suspened for 15 games.

Reason: 10 for going into the stands (ala Maxwell), and 5 for the fighting. Remember, there was no FLAGRANT FOUL.

All the one game suspensions stand (the rule of leaving the bench is the rule...even though every body eventually left the bench). Anthony Johnson's 5 games...I really don't know what he did, I didn't see him.

If you think my penalties are too lax, think about this:

A few years back, Latrell Spreewell "Physically Assaulted" his then coach, PJ Carlesimo. Spreewell grabbed his coach by the throat and proceeded to choke him. That's assault...that's battery...that's attempted murder...that's a 68 GAME SUSPENSION!!

And Artest gets 73?

The brawl was unpresidented in the NBA, and Stern wanted to set an example. But, I disagree with the severity. Commissoner Stern said:

“I did not strike from my mind the fact that Ron Artest had been suspended on previous conditions..."

Artest hadn't been suspended for over two seasons...and most of his other suspensions were for Flagrant fouls...not fighting. Let's make an example out of this "Bad Seed". That is the biggest injustice of them all. Artest had made HUGE strides in the past few seasons to shed his bad boy image.

You may say the brawl wouldn't have started if not for the Artest foul, or Artest going into the stands. You are wrong. Fouls, hard fouls happen on a regular basis. Pushing, like Wallace did, happens. People throwing things at players? When was the last time that happened?

I couldn't find a time.

It's the Detroit fans, and Ben Wallace who are to blame. Wallace could have handled himself better...he didn't need to push, but he did...ok. But then, he should have left, period. The fans would have booed, the clock would have clicked down, and the game would have been over.

Commissioner Gillespie has spoken.

Honesty...Honestly!!

How hard is it to be honest?

"I did not chop down that cherry tree." Ok, Mr Washington, I believe you.
"The British are coming!! The British are coming!!" Paul Revere, thank you for your honesty.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Mr Clinton...ok, so two out of three isn't that bad.

Across the street from where I work is a store called My Dollar Store, which advertises, right on the sign, "Always Just $1." You go inside, and once again, you are bombarded with signs saying everything $1 or less. Everything. The cashiers even use to greet me with the same line:

"Good Morning, everything in the store is a dollar or less!"

I use to like to go over there every once in awhile and go down the aisles, looking at the $1 tools (not that I'm that handy, but it seems like a good price for a saw) and the $1 medicine cabinet items. It set my mind at ease to know that, indeed, everything was $1. Then I would buy my soda and maybe some .50 cent cookies (the cookies are Famous Amos, not the rapper...that's Fiddy cent).

Well, all of that changed today. I walked next door and right as I stepped in, directly next to the cash register, was a sign that screamed out at me...

EVERYTHING IN THIS AISLE OVER $1

What the hell? Over $1, in the Everything is $1 Store? I glanced down at the picture frames, fancy plates, and the ugliest wooden lamp I have ever seen (for $20, no less!!). I was appalled!

"Did you see our new over $1 section?" the cashier asked.

"Don't you think that's false advertisement?" I shot back.

"Well, people buy it."

I picked up a $5 wooden duck on a stick, shook my head, and looked at the cashier again.

"This is how you guys are gonna do it, huh?" I started. The cashier looked puzzled.

I continued, starting to get a little irritated: "You start out by having everything $1. You build a pretty nice clientele, a lot of regulars start to surface, then you start integrating OVER $1 items in with the cheap stuff. People think, 'oh, that's nice, and it's only a couple dollars more.' Once they agree to that, then everything starts raising in price, til it's no longer My Dollar Store, it's My $20 Store."

The cashier stared at me for a few seconds, and then, as calmly as could be, said,

"Well, you don't have to buy any of it. Just get soda and cookies."

Suddenly, I wasn't irate anymore. I laughed...she made a good point. I guess I let the principle of the whole deal cloud my better judgment. I always do that.

And besides, how could a store stay in business by selling just $1 items?

Sushi BBQ

Coming out of lunch today, I noticed a sign across the street for a new Japanese Restaurant. "Sushi BBQ". If Sushi is RAW fish, then how, possibly, could it be barbequed?

Becky offered a suggestion.

"Maybe it's sushi with barbeque sauce on it."

I contend that in order to have your food BARBEQUED, you have to have it cooked on a grill. Cooked being the key word here. The sauce is just a flavoring, which is necessary, but not the key component.

"Well, if you get chicken with barbeque sauce on it, what do you call it?" Becky asks.

"I call it Barbequed Chicken." I reply.

"What if it wasn't cooked on a grill?"

"Well, at least it was cooked!!"

Regardless of what an item with barbeque sauce is called, I contend it must be cooked to be barbequed. Sushi cannot be barbequed, period.

Plus, who would want barbeque sauce on fish anyway? YUCK!!

My Apologies

Sorry for that last post. I think I am delirious from lack of sleep these last two days. Please read at you own risk!!

Do I Look Like An Indian To You?

Everybody has one, or has had one in their lifetime. Before you go off the deep end with sexually explicit innuendos (sicko perverts!!) let me clarify. At some point we have all had a nickname. (Wow, what were YOU thinking!!)

What I can't figure out is why guys get so creative with nicknames, and girls are so blah. For example, Tiffany becomes Tiff, or Barbara become Barb. YAWN!! Maybe girls just don't have the nicknaming capacity, or maybe they don't care to partake in nicknaming. Either way.

For guys, the stakes are raised. Donnie becomes "Chainsaw"...Rick is now dubbed "Slaughterhouse"...and Joe somehow becomes "Mandingo".

I guess if you break it down more (which is what I love to do), you have to put different kinds of nicknames in different catergories.

Catergory 1: Common Name Nicknames

This is your Tiffany = Tiff, your Richard = Dick, your Anthony = Tony.
You can't really say much about these. It's just a way to take a proper, stuffy adult name, and make it a little more hip and personable. I do it myself, because it's shorter...less letters to write. Hey, I'm a lazy guy, ok?


Catergory 2: Manly Nicknames

Bob = Mangler, Frank = Psycho
Really, why do guys do this? I say guys, cause when have you ever called your girlfriend or wife "Psycho" and meant it as a good thing? Ok, so guys attach these crazy, blood thirsty names to their friends as some kind of a ego boost. I am no psychologist, but I would think being called "Maniac" would make me feel more self confident than "Pooh Bear". That's just a guess.

The question is, why don't women take on such barbaric nicknames? I think it's because girls are "suppose" to be soft and less-crazed. I wouldn't want to date a girl who was refered to as "The Butcher". But maybe the ladies should take a page out of the guys book, and come up with some semi-manly nicknames to help with self esteem.

Examples: Anything with a more duel meaning..."Killer" could mean a knockout looking lady, or a lady with a steak knife ready to rip out your liver.

Catergory 3: Animal nicknames

Adam = Rhino, Josh = Weasel, Heather = Bunny
See where this is going? Guys just don't seem to care what they are called, as long as the animal is tough or filthy, women need soft, furry nicknames.

Catergory 4: Common nicknames

Let me attack this catergory by giving you the 3 nicknames I HATE to be called.

3. Fella. Ex: "What have you been up to, fella?" What is a fella? I'm sure it's short for fellow, but when is the last time you heard someone say fellow? "He's a mighty good fellow" is the last time I heard it, and that song is as old as the hills (and not sang that often anymore for that very reason.)

2. Big -un. Believe it or not, I've gotten this nickname more than once. "Hey, big-un, how's it going?" Yes, that is Big-un, as in short for Big One. Who would feel good about being called big? A bodybuilder, maybe. I am not a body builder. But, on the bright side, at least I haven't been called Fatty McButterpants...yet!

1. Chief. "What's up, Chief?" I'll tell you what's about to be up...my foot, up your behind!! I can't really explain why I hate being called Chief, but I do hate it so. Chief? Man, I hate that one. Even worse than Big-un.

Of course, other catergories include: Lover's Nicknames, Nicknames for your Animals, Last Name Change Nicknames (using the person's last name to make a new, cooler nickname. Ex: Jones = Jonsey) and Far-Out Non-Sensical Nicknames (Ex: Brad = Godsey...see? Godsey isn't a word, yet, it's Brad's nickname!)

It seems that the common theme in all of the catergories is: Man = Strong, tough nicknames, or nicknames that play off your own name. Women = soft, cuddly nicknames.

Sounds like men need some ego boosting, and women need to feel more feminine. I don't have a problem with that...I do, however have a problem being called Chief!!

I'm sure it says something about our society, but as you can tell if you've made it this far in the post, I obviously have no idea where I am going with this entry, so I'll leave you to ponder the shortcomings of our society, and to think about the meaning behind YOUR nickname.

Blue and White

There are signs that your favorite sports team is doing well. Maybe the baseball game is featured in Prime Time...maybe the basketball game is the "Game of the Week" on NBC...maybe the hockey game is, um, well, I guess we can skip that one being as I live in Indiana.

But for Football, it's a showdown on Monday night. Last night, Becky and a fellow IT worker, were able to score free tickets to the Indianapolis Colts vs the Minnesota Vikings, two teams at the top of the win column. Because Becky and her co-hort, Doug, are extremely nice, they gave the tickets to my brother and me.

Of course, as they say, nothing is free. We knew about the "possibility" of these tickets gracing our hands a week in advance, but the road wasn't without it's bumps. In order to get the tickets, several things had to fall into place.

The Proposal

Becky and Doug were to get the tickets if they came to a presentation by a computer equipment supplier (I can't pretend to know what they were selling, something that was big and expensive). They show up, look at the product, badda bing, badda boom, tickets for us.

Well...

1. Doug had to agree to go to the event. He said ok.
2. Doug had to agree to part with his ticket to Monday Night Football. He said sure.
3. The Company had to agree to let the tickets be given from Becky and Doug, to me and my brother. No problem.
4. My brother had to be off work, have someone to watch the kids, AND get a vehicle to drive to my house. Check, check, and check.

Smooth sailing...so far. Doug then dropped a bomb on us that he MAY not be able to go, because of child care issues. He would know the Monday of the game. So with all the balls in place we waited...and waited...

We had planned on leaving at 5:00, and at 3:30, still no answer from Doug. 4:00, nothing. 4:30, nadda. But, rejoice!! A little after 4:30, Doug gave us the green light.

The Waiting

It wasn't "see your breath" cold, but it was a little chili out last night by the Dome. My brother and I waited patiently while Becky and Doug went through the computer company's presentation.

We arrived shortly after 6...and by 7:30, we were just about spent. Then, we saw a guy with his wife stagger close to us. He was easily 6 foot 4, big ole beer belly, greying hair. The closer he got, the less he walked straight, and the more he walked to the right. Finally, he hit the curb, grabbed the trash can, and took a dive straight into the grass. We couldn't tell if he was hurt, or drunk. We soon concluded that he was drunk because his wife continued to nurse her cigarette as if nothing had happened.

It was just the little excitment we needed. At 8, a Rep from the computer place asked if we would like some passes to go in where Becky and Doug where. We agreed, because we knew there would be food. Oh, yeah, free food!! We scarfed some free food and shortly after, two tickets graced our numb fingers.

The Game

It's a once a year thing, maybe, for your hometown team to play Monday Night Football. So, to be there, was already thrilling. But the game itself was exciting, too. The first play, Minnesota fumble! First play! Of course they regained the fumble.

Some other highlights included:

1. Minnesota returned a punt for big yardage...but their punt returner was crushed by Hunter Smith, the punter. (NOTE: For those of you not in the know, punters are, gererally speaking, smaller guys who only tackle as a "last resort". Of course, Smith is a little larger, as Punters go, but still, it doesn't happen often.)

2. Later in the game, Smith got his second big hit in, unfortunately, it was as the Viking returner stretched across the end zone for a 91 yard punt return for a touchdown.

3. 4 passing TD's for Peyton Manning.

4. A last second Mike Vanderjagt field goal to win the game for the Colts, 31-28.

Here's what you didn't see...

1. Two guys getting tossed (from in or close to our section). The cops and security filed up the steps, yanked the drunkards, and wisked them away. Both were in the absolute top row of the stadium...I guess they didn't care if they saw the end of the game or not.

2. A guy three rows in front of us proposing to his girlfriend. She looked happy, so I assume she said yes.

3. Two guys in suits sitting next to a guy painted blue.

4. 57,000 screaming fans.

We rolled back into my town at 2:30 am. Tired, but satisfied.

Oh, yeah...if you are the lady who sat in front of us (section 320, row 16), I wanted to let you know when the Viking running back got crushed by our defense and he layed, apparently hurt...it was not me who yelled "BRING THE PAIN, 39!!" It was the guys behind me...and I didn't appriciate the smug look.

Ok, so it was me, but this is football after all, lady, not ballet!

Men's Rules

Becky sent this e-mail to me and actually prefaced it with a "sad but true" comment. I'll let you read it and judge yourself.

Men's Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, sports or cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Red Faced on Red House

I'm still a little bummed out about Saturday. You see, Becky and I went to a Halloween Party at my buddy Dan's house. The main attraction: His band was going to be performing. I love a live show, and these guys rock pretty hard, so I was very excited to go and check them out.

This is a real band here, two guitar players, bass and drums. They practice, perform at the local bars, etc. Not some two bit operation, in other words. I was particuarly excited because they had been working on a Hendrix cover of Voodoo Chile (Slight Return). Hendrix, being my favorite, was definitely a draw to the shindig.

When we arrived, we went through the regular Halloween stuff. Ah, look at the costumes, etc. (we, by the way, chose not to dress up. We just weren't into making a spectacle of ourselves.) Little did I know, I would be making a spectacle of myself soon enough anyway.

The band started warming up, and immediately broke into Voodoo Chile. I have to admit, it did sound awesome, despite a few small things.

1. They played it the Stevie Ray Vaughn way, which has an extra note in the intro. For some reason, I couldn't get past that.

2. Dan didn't know some of the words to the first verse. "I stand up next to THE mountain?" No, no, no!! "I stand up next to A mountain."

3. Dan didn't know any of the second verse.

That is where I came in.

During the instrumental break down, Dan calls me up to the stage. "Come on, Tony, I don't know the words, come sing it!!"

So, I did.

The problem was two fold.

1. I couldn't tell from what they were playing when I needed to start singing.

2. My mic was apparently not turned up, cause when I finally started to sing, I heard nothing, despite my screaming.

Oh, well. It was ok, cause that was my first time in front of an audience WITH a band. (of course, my birthday party had me performing by myself in front of friends and family, but this was in front of strangers WITH a full band...very intimidating.)

Well, I sat back down and the band finished the song. My ordeal was over...wait a minute...

Dan was called to the house for something, so Hiram, the guitar player, waved me back up.

"Do you know Red House?" Do I know Red House? Of course, I am a Hendrix junky!!

So, I took the stage one more time for Red House. The band had never played it before, but it sounded dead on to the original. I was ecstatic!! The time came, and this time my mic was on.

"There's a Red House over yonder....
that's where my baby stays.

There's a Red House over yonder...
lord that's where my baby stays.

I haven't been home to see my baby,
in 99 and one half days.

Wait a minute something's wrong,
this key won't unlock this door.

Wait a minute somethings wrong,
this key won't unlock this door.

That's when I realized something was wrong...I blanked the lyrics...the whole rest of the song was gone! I stood starring at Hiram, who played on as if nothing had happened. I looked at the Bass player, and shrugged "I forgot the words." He played on. It seems they didn't know the words at all, so it didn't matter. I, unfortunately, wasn't very good at improvising, so I stood there staring at the band, while they grooved out.

I was embarrassed, but not as much as I had thought I would be. Until I heard someone say
"He's not gonna sing it!" in a disgusted tone. Oh, well...I guess I made some friends that night!!

I apologized for forgetting the words, and we left soon after. So much for my first real performance. Maybe next time I will study before I leave...

VOTE

Well, my vote is in. For the first time ever, I went down and threw my political 2 cents in. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I had visions of hanging chad's and bug eyed vote counters scrutinizing my ballot.

None of that. Just a couple of old ladies in a room.

A couple of things bothered me.

1. They didn't ask for my ID or Voter Registration card. All they did was have me sign, and put the last four digits of my Social Security number down. What if they found the numbers didn't match? Obviously they couldn't find the particular ballot I cast and pull it out. That's just asking for voter fraud.

2. The voting booth had no back. While I was voting, the machine next to me opened up (there were only two machines in the building.) and some guy walked right behind me to get to the machine. My whole voting scheme was open to his wandering eyes! I felt like I was in the second grade, hovering over my votes like they were the answers to my Spelling Quiz.

3. You know those little "I voted" stickers? Well, I didn't get one, and I'm more than a little bitter about that!!

In closing, I hope that all my candidates will win. I have been told that whether I vote Republican or Democrat for President this year really doesn't matter, because apparently Indiana is a strong Republican state. That's nice to know that no matter who I vote for, my vote doesn't really amount to much. I mean, if it were the case that "every vote counts" and in the end, the popular vote wins, then I would still think my vote went to the good of the bottom line.

But that's not the case. I guess this whole Electoral College thing confuses me. If Bush gets 800 votes in Indiana and Kerry gets 799...then Bush wins 11 EC votes, Kerry gets 0. What happens to 800 and 799? I would think that would still mean something, but it doesn't. I just don't understand, I guess.

I guess it's more the Majority of each State, than it is the Majority of the entire country, which also seems weird to me, but I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to discredit the system, I'm just trying to understand.

Good luck to President Bush.
Good luck to Senator Kerry.

I hope the better man wins, whomever that may be, and I hope the country can accept the outcome either way and find a way to continue to live and prosper. I refuse to reveil my vote...except to the guy who walked behind me at the polls!

CHECK THE TAG

Hey, guys...Christmas is fast approaching, but please, before you buy your wife or girlfriend a gift, check the tag!!

For Those Who Inspire, Especially My Dad

It seems only fitting to add a post in honor of the Boston Red Sox. World Series Champions for the first time in 86 years. But, I'm not going to do that. Sure, I'm going to mention it here, because it was an improbable victory...86 year drought...down 3-0 to the Yankees in the ALCS...winning that series 4-3...sweeping the Cardinals...

Inspiring to say the least. But, all that being said, I just wanted to hit one more time on the guts that Curt Schilling displayed. He pitched game 2 on a Frankensteined right ankle, allowing only 4 hits in 6 innings. When interviewed, Schilling said when he woke up, he couldn't even walk.

Only a few people have inspired me like this with their determination.

Schilling (who also inspired back in 2001 when he pitched 3 World Series games...games 1, 4, and 7).

Randy Johnson, who in 2001 pitched game 2 and game 6 of the World Series, and then shocked everybody by coming in to finish game 7, retiring all 4 batters he faced.

Michael Jordan. I mean, come on. Jordan did everything in basketball, and I don't care what you say, his coming back to basketball for the Wizards was GREAT. I think of him every time I step on the volleyball court, and how he had knee surgery at age 40, and still went out and made the Wizards a decent basketball team. This guy is amazing.

Lance Armstrong. After beating cancer, he has won 6 Tour de France cycling races. Amazing. (and if you want to talk about the rumors of illegal drugs, go find the Balco website and leave the Armstrong comments to yourself!!)

Andre Dawson. This guy deserves more credit than he ever received. He played in the Major Leagues for 21 seasons, despite having knees so bad he would have to get pain shots daily just to hobble out on the field, he won 8 Gold Gloves in Right Field, made 8 All Star appearances, and is one of only 4 men to have 300 Home Runs and 300 Stolen Bases in his career. Maybe the most underrated baseball player of his, or any, time.

The last, and most important, is my dad, Dave Gillespie. This guy is a true inspiration. He's played volleyball for longer than I've been alive...and basketball...and soccer...and golf...and softball...and, well, you name it and he's played it (except maybe hockey, but, come on...it is Indiana). He's 55 and he still laces up the volleyball shoes 3-5 nights a week and plays at a very competitive level. He may have lost a step, but consider this...he's 55, he has been told that he needs a total hip replacement (which he opted not to do yet, due to the fact he would outlive it at his age), he's been playing for 30+ years.

But, despite all that, he's STILL A SMARTER PLAYER THAN MOST! If you need a play to happen, he will make it happen. Last night, for example, he hit the front row. We were playing to 21, rally scoring, and the score was 19-19. While he was in the front row, he tooled one blocker for a point (hit it off his hands and out of bounds) and rolled a shot into the back corner for a point. It was truly crunch time, and he delivered.

He still blocks, hits, passes nails (that's a good thing), and he cleans the gym floor nightly by diving to make the impossible, possible with amazing defensive plays. He has inspired me as a player to concentrate on my All-Around game, like he has. He also has inspired me to give 100% on the court at all times. I just look over at him next to me on the court and it doesn't matter if i'm tired, cause I know he's tired...it doesn't matter if I'm hurting, cause I know he's hurting...it doesn't matter if we are down, because I know he's thinking we can win...and so am I. He's also made me a better person outside of the game because of his humility, his generosity, and his compassion. He is truly one of the good guys in this world...a world that is better for having had him in it.

No matter how good it feels to watch Jordan play basketball, or to see Schilling take the mound with the bum ankle, it will never compare to the feeling I get when I look and see my dad playing his heart out game after game on the volleyball court right next to me. It's the greatest feeling in the world.

Share Beauty Spread Hope

As my friendly anonymous poster added to my previous blog about the LiveStrong bracelet, here is a picture and link to the Target website where you can purchase a Pink Breast Cancer Awareness bracelet. Or you can simply drop by any Target store and get one. I highly encourage you to purchase one.

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=13324131_bxgy_cc_img_b/601-3642768-0553738?asin=B00030IWO8

LiveStrong: Part 3

I was mad as hell when I read this story.

Jewelry? Are you kidding me? It wouldn't be as bad if the ban was on ALL things worn, ie watches. (Of course, excluding religious or medical medals.) But this ban is on JEWELRY which I don't believe a rubber band is.

It's sad that something with a positive message, like the LiveStrong bracelet can come out, inspire people, support people, support Cancer research...

And High School kids get DQ'ed.

Unbelievable.

It's a good thing the decision was reversed, but I'm sure there are probably parents on the other side, parents of the kids who won because of the DQ, who are upset that their son/daughter lost, then won, then lost again.

"The rules are the rules, and they broke them!!" I can almost hear the angry parents say.

Wow, I know it probably happened, but that's even more wrong than the DQ. I hope that these parents all set a good example for their children, and tell them the disqualification was wrong.

At least I think it was wrong. Not because of the message of the bracelet, but because I don't see it as jewelry.

...............................

After I read this story, I immediately went to the Nike Outlet to buy a bracelet. Sold out. So, I went to Lance's website and ordered some.

www.wearyellow.com

I should have gotten one a long time ago. I have a grandfather who is fighting cancer (among other things) and an Uncle, whom I love dearly, that is a cancer survivor. When I get my bracelet, I will wear it proud.

12 million bracelets have been sold already...but that's not enough. I hope you will go to the website, or the sporting goods store, or where ever you can buy a bracelet, and buy one...buy two...buy ten.

LiveStrong: Part 2

Oct. 13, 2004

Stung by criticism of its action, a high school district has
reversed a decision to disqualify cross country runners for
wearing Lance Armstrong LiveStrong wristbands.

The decision was reversed because "adequate prior notice
had not been given to the participants," Bruce Biehl, Kellam
High School's principal and chairman of Beach District cross country,
said in a statement released Tuesday.

More than 20 runners were declared ineligible in a meet last Wednesday
for wearing the popular LiveStrong bands.

Runners will be allowed to continue wearing the wristbands for
the rest of the district cross country season, he said. Biehl added that
clarification will be sought on wearing the bands during regional and
state competitions.

A flood of e-mails protesting the decision followed a story Saturday
in The Virginian-Pilot of Norfolk detailing the Beach District's action.

The decision to disqualify the runners, Biehl said, was in keeping
with a recently drafted National Federation of State High School
Associations ruling classifying the band as jewelry. But Biehl
acknowledged that runners and coaches weren't given much notice.
The Virginia High School League circulated the new policy to schools
on Oct. 4, two days before the meet.

Many of the runners in last Wednesday's meet said they were
unaware that the bands were classified as jewelry and would have
taken them off had they known they risked disqualification.

"Our kids certainly weren't wearing them to be defiant,"
said Mike Nestor, coach at Ocean Lakes High. "We're kind of in
awe of everything that's happened."

But Nestor said the controversy has served as a learning tool for his athletes.

"Sometimes you wear that band but forget what it's really for,"
Nestor said. "I've received e-mails from all over the country from
cancer survivors voicing their support. Through their stories, we've
learned what an inspiration that band really is."

LiveStrong: Part 1

Oct 9, 2004 -- VIRGINIA BEACH — LiveStrong? Not in cross country.

The fluorescent yellow wristbands are a cultural phenomenon.
But at a meet Wednesday, the Beach District’s top cross country
administrator ruled that they fall under the category of jewelry.
The result: More than two dozen runners were disqualified for wearing them.

“It’s the stupidest rule I’ve ever heard,” Bayside coach
Lanny Doan said. “We’re talking about a rubber band.
It’s not going to harm anyone.”

Ocean Lakes coach Mike Nestor said that no warning was issued
to runners at the start line Wednesday at Sportsplex, adding that
his girls team lost because of the disqualifications.

"Basically, we lost because of a cancer-support bracelet,”
Nestor said. “This is a friendly sport. I’d rather be told kids had
to take them off before they run than told 'Gotcha!’ afterward.”

Ocean Lakes senior Drew Midland has worn his since July. He was
one of the 26 runners who were disqualified.

“The ironic thing is our team had something called 'athlete of the meet,’
and we were giving these Lance Armstrong bracelets out to that person,”
Midland said. “It never crossed my mind that they would count that as jewelry.”

There are 12 million LiveStrong wristbands in circulation, and they
sell for $1 apiece. All proceeds of sales go to the Lance Armstrong
Foundation, which provides practical information to cancer survivors.

Armstrong is quite possibly the world’s most famous cancer survivor,
having won cycling’s Tour de France six times after battling testicular
cancer. He has vowed never to take off his wristband, and nearly
every track and field athlete at the recent Athens Olympics wore
the wristbands in competition.

Although high school cross country rules state that “no contestants
shall wear jewelry with the exception of religious or medical metals,”
runners consistently are allowed to compete while wearing wristwatches.

Linda Babb, Kellam High school’s athletic director and the administrator
who oversees Beach District cross country, said she twice issued warnings
to coaches about the “no jewelry” policy. She added that coaches received
copies of the rules at the beginning of the season and were e-mailed prior
to Wednesday’s meet with reminders that the rule would be enforced.

Princess Anne sophomore Katy Winsper said the runners were reminded
at the starting line that they needed to remove all jewelry. Winsper had
a thin elastic hair band around her wrist, unaware that it was illegal.
Winsper won but was disqualified.

“Are you kidding me?” Winsper said afterward.

Landstown’s Shannon Ralston had run her best time of the season
but was disqualified for wearing the LiveStrong band.

“I think it’s a silly rule,” she said. “But had I been told at the
starting line, I would have obeyed it.”

Angry Rant # 5

Why do you have to do it restaurants? Why do you have to have the "pitcher" of soda that sits in the corner for God only knows how long before you bring it to my table to refill my drink? Don't you know what that is doing to the soda?

Watering it down!! Oh, the humanity!! Why do you have to bring me watered down soda? Is it that unimaginable to have to walk my cup to the back and refill it from the fountain? I don't think it's too much to ask!

I guess the question is: Why? I have a few theories, but I think I already know the answer.

It is policy to have the "pitcher" of soda

1. so the diner can get a refill right away, instead of having to wait for the waitress to go to the back and return.

2. so the waitress doesn't have to spend her time going all the way to the back.

3. so the company can save money by watering down soda.

4. for the convience of the diner and the waitress.

It's probably # 4. Convience. I think it's a conspiracy...

Restaurant Owner: "HA HA!! My plan is working perfectly! I will serve watered down soda and save a ton of money. Then, because the waitresses won't be making as many trips to the back, I can have less waitresses serving more diners!! I can get rid of extra dishwashers, too, because each drink will be refilled instead of coming out in a new glass!! I will be RICH!!"

Ok, maybe not...But next time I go to the restaurant, I'm asking for a fresh soda!!

Schilling

I was watching tv back in '88 when Kirk Gibson, riddled with knee pain, stepped to the plate in the World Series for the LA Dodgers. His team was down 4-3 to the Oakland A's in the bottom of the ninth. Gibson, who wasn't expected to play because of the knee pain, was called on to pinch hit versus the almost unstoppable A's relief pitcher, Dennis Eckersley.

The result...a game winning 2 run home-run.

I was also watching in 2002 when Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb broke a bone in his ankle (fibula) during an NFL game versus the Cardinals in the first quarter...on the third play of the game...but finished the game, completing 20-25 passes and throwing 4 touchdowns.

The result...a Philadelphia win, 38-14.

While both of these were performances worthy of awe, they almost pail in comparison to the heroics of Curt Schilling in game 6 of the NLCS. Schilling, a 37 year old pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, took the mound in game 6, despite having a dislocated ankle tendon.

I know what you may be thinking..."McNabb had a broken ankle," well, a broken fibula supports none of you body weight...what Schilling had required surgery due to the fact that the tendon is responsible for stability. Once the tendon is torn, they pop out of the supporting ligaments that hold them in place and dislocate. Once this occurs, recurrent dislocation and tearing of the tendons is inevitable. In other words, once you pop, you can't stop.

Schilling had to have three sutures put into place in order to hold his ankle together so he could pitch. Being a right handed pitcher, all the weight of the pitch comes from the right ankle, which was the ankle he had injured.

Dispite the injury, he took the mound. With blood seeping through his sock, he pitched 7 beautiful innings and led the Red Sox to victory.

Why would someone play in these conditions? I, being one who has played through injury, know the answer to this question. Heart.

He said there would be no greater feeling, than to shut 55,000 screaming Yankee fans up.

He did it.

And so did his team. After being down in the best of 7 series 3-0, the Red Sox did what NO other professional sports team in North America has done. They won the next 4.

In game 4, with the Yankees up 4-3, the Sox garnered up a last second rally that tied the game. They won on an Ortiz homer in the 12th.

In game 5, an Ortiz homer in the 8th tied the game. It took 14 innings before Ortiz came through one more time with a single that drove in the game winner.

Game 6 belonged to Schilling.

In game 7, Johnny Damon hit two home-run (one being a Grand Slam) in Boston's 10-3 victory, behind brilliant pitching by Derek Lowe.

Boston hasn't won a World Series since 1918. Maybe this will be the year, maybe not, but you can't deny the inspiration of Curt Schilling...to play on that ankle was crazy. But sometimes, in order to accomplish your dreams, you have to be a bit crazy.

Musicology #1: Rocket Man

I am a fan of the music of Elton John. Your Song, Levon...I won't bore you with a greatest hits list, but it would be very large. One song I like, but never really thought about much is Rocket Man.

Yes, I know, we all know the song...but have we ever really dissected the lyrics? What is this song really about?

(NOTE: To all the smarty-mcfarties out there that are sure to say: "We all know this song is about cocaine use because Bernie Taupin said in such in such year to such and such magazine..." Yeah, I read that, too... AND even MORE people are probably kicked back thinking, "What an idiot, this guy is trying to tie the lyrics of this song with what Elton John would have meant, when, in fact Bernie Taupin wrote the song, not Elton!!" Yeah, I know that, too, just humor me, ok?) Now that is out of the way, let's begin:

MUSICOLOGY #1: Rocket Man

When I hear this song, I don't want to fight for the argument that it is about a strung out coke-head, who has lost it all on the Fairy Powder. I also can't get behind the theory that it is about a man going into space...for real. I like to subscribe to a theory that goes a little something like this.

Rocket Man, in my opinion, is about Elton's wanting to tell the world of his sexuality. Let me explain, line by line.

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then

Elton, the gay man still, at this point, trapped in a straight-man's body (Rocket Man was written in 1972...Elton John became openly bi-sexual in 1976.) The opening verse is basically the main character coming to grips with being gay. He tells wis wife of his double-life, and the results are her packing his bags pre-flight (before he "flies" away from his home). When he leaves for good, he's going to be "high as a kite" (happy, excited by his new found freedom.) But then the song goes from glee to worry.

I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight

The first line "I miss the earth so much I miss my wife" is saying he doesn't miss not having a woman in his life, but rather having a person in his life who understood and loved him. "It's lonely out in space." In the '70's, and still today, being gay or lesbian isn't accepted as main stream, and I'm sure they feel isolated and lonely that they aren't as accepted as others...a feeling like being in space. Timeless Flight? How long will these views be octracized?

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no
I’m a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

The chorus is saying it's gonna be a long time before the main character doesn't feel like he's in space. A long time until he feels accepted. He's not the man they think he is at home, this straight man who has a passion for women, but rather, he's a rocket man. Meaning, he perfers "rockets"...do I need to explain what this is a metaphor for? Rocket in his pocket? Ok, let's move on. "Buring out his fuse" to me represents the gay man's inability to have children of his own, thus burning out his fuse...his family name. (yes, a gay man can adopt and the name can live on, but no blood relation...except through serrogate...you caused me to overanaylis, are you happy?)

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it’s cold as hell
And there’s no one there to raise them if you did

Mars, the red planet...red represents anger. Anger, in any form, is no place to raise a kid. Elton John's real childhood included a strict father...maybe, this line is saying don't raise your kids in anger for who they are, because that only makes them feel small, and "cold as hell." If you are constantly angry, then how are you raising that child? There is, in fact, no one there to raise them.

And all this science I don’t understand
It’s just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man

The science Elton speaks of is the theory that some believe homosexuality wasn't a born trait, but rather a learned trait. One that could be corrected or "cured" with electro-shock, religion, or more straight living, no pun intended. But Elton counters, "it's just my job five days a week." Elton knows he didn't choose to be gay, he is. That's his life, his job, to be a rocket man...a gay man.

.......................

So, I leave you with this to ponder. Rocket Man...a coked out Astronaut, or Elton's cry for acceptance? You be the judge.

Forward This To 10 People!!

What's the deal with these e-mails that people send, claiming that "if you send this to 10 people, something will pop up on your screen," or "If you don't forward this to 20 people, something bad will happen." That's crap, on both accounts.

Why would a guilt trip make me more apt to forward a funny joke, or inspirational message? Wait, I got this one...IT DOESN'T!! If anything it makes me more apt to delete said e-mail. Even if it means that I "don't care about the sender if I don't send it back." (Sorry to all who send me these e-mails and I don't return them...I do care!!)

If really makes me wonder why that guilt trip would be on the end of e-mails. Here are my theories:

1. The originator of the e-mails makes money upon the forwarding of their e-mails. The more times it's forwarded, the more scratch they put in their pockets.

2. The originator of the e-mail has extremely low self-esteem, and really wants to be validated by having someone return the story about "the kid who was going to kill himself, but decided not to because the other kid stopped and helped him one day after the bullies knocked the books from his hands..."

3. The originator was a mother...or a wife. (Where guilt trips breed.)

4. It just seemed like a fun thing to do.

Well, I know some of the people who read this blog, so I'm going to say definately not #3, because wifes and mothers don't lay guilt trips...

I don't know which is right, if any. Maybe it's part of the story...I don't know. All I do know is I'm not gonna play the game. Send me the e-mails, and I will read them...but don't expect me to forward them along to 10 people.

If you liked this post, forward it along to 10 people and you will receive a crisp $100 bill!! ($100 will be sent to you via e-mail...it is a federal offense to copy, produce, or reproduce the currancy of the United States of America.)

ERROR

Anyone having trouble with the picture I posted either coming up slow, or not at all? Please leave a comment and let me know...Thanks!!

WATCH OUT

Oh, boy, you guys are in big trouble now!! I figured out how to put pictures on this thing!! Technology, ain't it fun?

Test Photo

Misty May

THE PERFECT $5

Have you ever seen the movie Reservoir Dogs? It's a movie by Quentin Tarantino...before Pulp Fiction...anyways, there is an exchange that always stuck with me at the very beginning of the movie between the guys and Mr. Pink (played by the brilliant Steve Buscemi).

In the exchange, Joe (the head honcho), and the rest of the crew, where having a casual breakfast at a little Diner. Joe received the check, and asked that the crew pick up the tip. One by one the guys ponied up their greenbacks, except for the smug Mr. Pink.

Mr. Pink says he doesn't believe in tipping.

"I don't tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody
deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they
deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically,
that shit's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just
doin their job. "

He goes on to say, basically, some jobs are deemed tip worthy (i.e. waitresses) and some are not (i.e. McDonalds). They both serve you food.

This got Becky and me thinking. Why do we feel inclined to leave the same tip, regardless of the service? When is it acceptable not to tip, if at all?

We eat out...a lot. We go to some fairly nice places. We know how much 15% is. But, we don't know why we should feel obligated to leave that, when the service wasn't there. So, we developed a system.

THE PERFECT $5.00

Before you go all googlie-mooglie thinking $5 is a cheap tip, consider this: Our meals hardly ever surpass $20. $5 would, in the case of a $20 meal, be 20%. A fine tip by any standards.

Ok, so here's the plan. We start with five One dollar bills, layed out in a row at the back of the booth...so the server can plainly see. Then we deduct a Dollar if the server fails on any of the following tasks...

1. 2 MINUTE RULE: If someone isn't at the table in two minutes to either get your drinks, get your order, or tell you they will be with you in a minute (and actually come back in a decent time period)...$1 Deduction.

2. 5 MINUTE RULE: If you don't have your drinks at the table within five minutes of sitting down...$1 Deduction (at this time, orders should be taken)

3. If at any time during the meal, your drink becomes empty...$1 Deduction PER OFFENSE. This should never happen...unless you drink it down before the server is out of sight, in which case, you drink too fast and should pay him/her an extra dollar cause they have to work even harder!! SLOTH!! We don't drink very fast, so the cup should be kept with drink.

4. If I have to stop the waitress and ask her to refill my drink...$1 Deduction.

5. If the server asks me if I would like a refill...and I'm drinking water...$1 Deduction. (Water is FREE, fill my glass!! Soda doesn't really cost that much more...like .00008th of a cent per glass, but I won't penalize for that...usually.)

There are other smalls things that could add up...none of these warrants a $1 Deduction by themselves...

1. The waitress tries to take a plate before I am finished, without asking if I'm finished.
2. The main course comes before the salad.
3. The server takes your order, and refills the drinks, but the hostess/other servers get your drink order, brings your food, takes your dishes, etc. (A personal pet peeve)
4. If the meal is cooked wrong, it's not the server's fault...but they should be returning with the manager.
5. Server spills water on the table when refilling the drinks and doesn't at least bring back a napkin to help mop it up.

I'm sure I'm missing some, but that is a pretty comprehensive list. When all is said and done...the remaining Dollars stay for the tip. It's not a fool-proof method, but it works rather well.

The ROOT Of All Evil

Kids, take care of your teeth. Don't spend your life in the dentist chair...nobody needs that trauma.

I went to the dentist today. I have this tooth, you see, that is in bad shape. Last year, I chipped in on a Taco Bell Burrito (how you may ask? Well, let's just say it had more to do with my wisdom teeth pushing my teeth together, than the burrito.) Anyhoo, the tooth continued to chip, and gap and in general, crumble away.

Last week I hit rock bottom. The pain was bad, so I scheduled the dreaded dentist appointment. Let me say this about my past experiences with dentist:

When I was younger, I didn't go. When I got a little older, I did...to the tune of about a dozen fillings. After the last one, I vowed to never go back and get "The Shot." You know the one I'm talking about...the mouth numb shot they give you that's suppose to make the proceedure painless. Forgot one thing, THE SHOT HURTS!!

I hate that shot.

I succeeded in my plan to abstain from dentists until a few years ago. I had a bad tooth that led to the dentist chair. That's when the bad things started.

1. I needed a double root canal.
2. They wanted to do it right now.
3. "The Shot" hurt mighty bad.
4. "The Shot" didn't work.
5. The pain was comparable to the following. Tooth...nail on tooth...tap, tap, SLAM!! Nail IN tooth. Pain ensues.
6. "The Shot #2...#3...#4...
7. Then, a mystery substance was poured into my gapping tooth.
8. Doctor forgets to tell me this will make my heart race.
9. Faux Seizure...I say Faux, cause it wasn't a seizure, but I was shaking around like I was having one.
10. 5 or 6 total trips
11. Several hundreds of dollars.
12. Me vowing to never have a root canal again.

This time, the tooth was one of the top back ones...by the pointy tooth, not a molar. That was nice, because when the doctor pulled it, it shouldn't be noticable. That's what I had planned on, a pulled tooth. The doctor had other plans. He wanted... dun, Dun, DUN!! The root canal. "It won't hurt," he said. "Yeah, that's what the last dentist said, too," I responded.

I sat in the chair for ten minutes explaining why I didn't want the root canal.

"It's either that, or I'll pull it and give you a bridge." A bridge, apparently, involves drilling and what not, too...plus it's more expensive.

Ten more minutes...

"What if you pull it and don't put in a bridge?"
"Your teeth will shift. It's like taking a brick from the center of a wall...eventually the foundation will start to crumble...blah, blah, blah."

Five more minutes.

"You want me to make up your mind for you, don't you?" he says. No, I want to get UP AND LEAVE!!

So, I made my decision. Pull it. (thinking, ha ha!! I just won't come back for the bridge, sucka!!)

He leaned in for "The Shot." And you know something? For the first time EVER...the shot did not hurt!! I was beeming with confidence. I shook his hand and thanked him a couple times just for the shot not hurting.

He came back and I, with my new found confidence, beemed "Root Canal!!"

And so it was. He slapped a root canal on me, and I only flinched one time (and that was because I was so confortable, when I finally felt a little pain, I flinched.)

Pain scale from 1-10, 10 being high...probably 2. Most of that came from sitting with all that stuff running down my throat. Pain level was a 1.

Thank you, Dr. Gerry, for giving me hope that dental surgery doesn't have to hurt.

Until the bill comes...

12/08/1980: R.I.P. Mr. Lennon

What were you doing on December 8, 1980? I was only 3 years old, so I can't honestly say...but that was the day the music truly died.

Five gun shots.

One hit nothing.

Four ripped into a musical genius.

The man who killed John Lennon (whose name I will not justify by typing) was up for parole this week. After having killed a legend, he only received a 20 years to life sentence. Not "Life without Parole", or the "Death Sentence"...20 years to life.

A possibility for parole. It just doesn't seem right.

However, the light shining on this story is that the man DID NOT get paroled. Probably good for him. Who would want anything to do with the "man who killed John Lennon?" Nobody.

What could have been? What if John were still alive, writing music? Like him or not, the man was a genius in the art of music...he was one of the most influential musicians of all time...and his music was like nothing anyone has ever done. So ahead of it's time, yet, so classic, so fresh, so raw and different.

Listen to the popular songs...Imagine... Watching the Wheels... (Just Like) Starting Over... Jealous Guy...

Then listen to the songs that aren't on the radio...Oh, My Love... Old Dirt Road... Steel and Glass... Nobody Told Me... My Life... Isolation... I Found Out...

You can't replace that. You just can't.

No, Dear

There's a tv show on CBS currently called Yes, Dear. Maybe some of you have heard of it, maybe some have not. Well, for those of you not in the know, the show is about a married couple who lets the wife's sister and brother-in-law move into their guest house because the sister and bro-in-law have fallen on hard times.

To make a long story short, I will jump ahead to my question:

The brother-in-law, played by Mike O'Malley, is CONSTANTLY wearing a hat. Always. At the house, hat. At work, hat. At the dentist, hat. (ok, maybe he doesn't at the dentist, but you get the idea.) This is bothering me a lot. I can't even watch the show because this guy and his stupid hats!! Truth be told, I can't watch the show because the show really isn't that good, but damn his hats...they just don't help.

I thought maybe this guy is just a hat fan because of his character. Middle Aged, balding, sport nut kinda guy. Ok, hats, I get it. But then I had the pleasure (or displeasure) of watching 28 Days with Sandra Bullock, and who would appear on the screen? Mike O' Malley. AND HE STILL HAD THE HAT ON!! Can you believe this!

Why does this guy insist on the hat? It's one of the great tv mysteries of all time.

1. Why does Mike O'Malley constantly wear a hat?
2. Why did Jerry Seinfeld walk away?
3. Why can't Elaine, George or Kramer have a new sitcom that lasts more than a season?
4. Why did the Fonz "Jump the Shark"?
5. Will Kevin and Winnie Cooper ever hook up?
6. Why would you try to base a tv show around Bob Saget?
7. Why did those shows (Full House, Funniest Videos) actually do well?
8. Why did the 6 Brady Kids stay in two rooms? (see previous post)
9. Why don't those Simpson kids ever grow up?
10. How old is Mr Burns anyway? How about Ned Flanders?

Ok, so these obviously aren't the greatest tv mysteries of all time. But they are things that baffle the mind. But, if you ever see this guy on Yes, Dear without a hat, make sure to let me know, because then I would have to write a post about why he DIDN'T have his hat on in that show.

The Brady Bunched

We all know the story:

A lovely lady...bringing up three very lovely girls...all of them having hair of gold, just like their mother, with the only difference being the youngest one was in curls. (Which looked quite goofy in the later years...)

And of course there was:

A man named Brady...bringing up three boys of his own...these four men were living together, but they were oh, so alone.

Ok, from what I can gather, the "Bunch" all packed into Mike Brady's pad. But the question that has me baffled is this:

Ole Mikey Boy is obviously pretty well off, I mean, he can support 6 kids and a wife, live in a nice house, have a groovy convertible AND a maid...all on an architect's salary (and probably some killer child support from the ex-Mrs Brady and the ex-Mr Carol ... yeah, I said Mr Carol, do you know her previous married name?)

However, with all this, the kids still have to live three to a room. Why can't they all have their own room? Maybe Mr Brady's house just isn't big enough for the "Bunch". Well, let's think about that.

Here are the rooms:

Living room (with the couch and the front door in sight...at the bottom of the stairs). Obviously no place for a bedroom. That's a no.

Master Bedroom: Another no, as the parents need their place to shag, because obviously they are rather found of it. That's a no.

Kitchen: Obviously, no.

But that leaves:

1. The Boy's Room
2. The Girl's Room
3. The Attic (later home to Greg)
4. The Rec Room (the room off the kitchen where projects were always done...could easily be a room)
5. The Den: Come on, Mike, you selfish SOB!! Take your work to the office and give that room to one of your kids!!
6. HELLO?!? Alice has a room. Tell her to go shack up with Sam the Butcher and give that room to one of your kids...what kind of parent would give a whole room to a maid, but make the kids live 3 to 1?

So, there you have it. Instead of giving the kids their space, Mike and Carol caged them up like rats. Pretty sad. Does anyone know where Oliver slept once he came along? He probably had to sleep in the Boy's Room, since Greg had gone to the attic.

What have we learned from this?

Either the Brady parents like to keep their kids caged like rats, or Mike was a very bad architect...after all, couldn't he design a house with a room for everyone?

PS...In case you were curious...Carol's maiden name was Tyler, and her previous married name was Martin...

PPS...Mike's first wife died, so no child support from her.

The Big Apple: Part 3: Subway Stories

When we took the Subway to ABC, we took the 9. Well, after the test, I made the decision that if we took the 9 to get here, then we should take the 9 back. It should circle back around, right? I guess Subway trains don't "circle" back around like I thought.

We got on the 9, and we went up Manhattan. We wanted Times Square, 42nd Street. Unfortunately, the numbers were going up. 96th, 128th, 154th, 226th...We ended up in Van Cortlandt Park. For those of you not in the know, that's in the Bronx. When we started our jaunt, the subway was packed...it was around 5:15. When we finished, we were left with two lone travelers. A middle aged woman, and a college aged guy. We asked what happened after the last stop...

"Where are youse guys headin?" asked the college guy.
"Times Square." we responded.
Gasps from the woman and chuckles from the guy followed.
"Youse guys are in the Bronx...were as far away from Times Square as you can get!"

They were both extremely nice, and proceeded to tell us to cross the platform when the subway stopped and take that 9 subway to 96th street. Then, cross the platform again, and take the 2 all the way to 42nd street.

By the time we arrived, we had been on the subway for over an hour. Considering we were only trying to get from 67th to 42nd, I would say we did not make good time.

I would have to say, however, that the subway experience wasn't all that bad. There were some interesting things that happened.

1. We had a beggar on the train. This lady had her speech down verbatim. I will paraphrase here...if you ever rode the 9, maybe you know her.

"May I have your attention. If you have an apple, an orange, a cookie, a cake, a sandwich. I do not mind if it's been squished in your bag for three days. If you have a nickel, a dime, or even a penny. A lot of people just throw pennies away, but they help me to buy my food, to buy my clothing, to buy my cosmetics..."

2. This teenaged kid, very scrawny, made his way from car to car, before ending up in the car after ours. He then proceeded to grab the hand rails and do a series of flips, and non-sexual pole dancing type moves. We could see him flipping around, and I have to say, it was quite impressive.

3. When we first entered the train, it was standing room only. I nestled in by the door, so I could watch the numbers on the walls as they screamed past. Dan was behind me, looking in the direction of the people. After about 5 stops, the people who started the ride with us were all replaced by new people who didn't know that I was with Dan. This was important for Dan's plan...to cause a scene.

At about the 6th stop, the doors opened and Dan made his move. He turned and in his loud, booming voice called out..."This is your stop" as he proceeded to push me out the subway door. Of course, I wasn't prepared to be pushed out the door, so I stumbled out, and quickly had to make my way back aboard before the subway left without me.

I quickly took a look around, to see how people reacted. All I saw were shocked looks. Looks of disgust. "Why would that guy push him off the Subway?" I looked at Dan, he looked at me, and we burst out laughing. People shook their heads in protest and dove back into their newspapers.

Once we FINALLY found Times Square, we were starving. We walked to the Olive Garden. Above the restaurant was an ENORMOUS front end of an Escalade. We quickly took a seat in the bar. $15 for lasagna?!? It's only $9.95 in Greenwood! The place was cool, though. Main level housed several tables enclosed in glass walls so you could see the action. The second level was a bar, and the third had a beautiful view of Times Square.

A couple more stores, and we were beat. We made our way back to Penn Station and waited for the bus, which we were told would pick us up where it dropped us off. Wrong! We waited for 40 minutes...no bus. Finally, Dan called and found out we needed to be across and slightly down the street. Oh well, we made the bus, got back to Newark and headed home.

All of Sunday and all of Tuesday were spent driving (24 hours in total), and in between, we sandwiched a day of NYC. The trip was short but fun. I would definitely go back...watch out Holly and Fatima, cause I'm on my way!!

The Big Apple: Part 2: Millionaire

The instructions were simple:

1. No talking
2. 10 minutes, 30 questions
3. The questions go across the page, not down

We were told that the tests would be graded and the people who got a certain "grade" would be taken for interviews directly after the tests. Of course, they wouldn't tell us what that magic number was.

Then, it was go time. We all took the question sheets out and began feverishly filling in ScanTron boxes with our Who Wants to be a Millionaire pencils.

Unbeknown to most of us, the test was for us to be on the Celebrity Scoop version of Millionaire. I was excited, because celebrity is right up my alley!! The questions seemed simple for the most part, with a couple of thinkers thrown in.

Easy ones:
Who had "Winona Forever" tattooed on his body because of his romance with Winona Ryder?
Which former Beatle was stabbed in his home in 1999?
Which former Basketball player opened his own chain of Movie Theatres?

(Johnny Depp, George Harrison, "Magic" Johnson)

Thinkers:
1. Who was People Magazines first "Sexiest Man Alive"?
a. Mel Gibson
b. Sean Connery
c. Richard Gere
d. Harrison Ford

2. Whose ashes were sprinkled in space in 1997, after his death?
a. Yuri Gagarin
b. Timothy Leary
c. Alan Shepard
d. Elllison Onizuka

Well, I missed both of these.

1. a. Mel Gibson. (I think I answered b.)
2. b. Timothy Leary (Who knew?)

Anyway...the questions flowed and I know I got at least 22-25 correct, and after talking to a couple of people, I think my number was more like 26. 26 out of 30 ain't too bad! I asked Dan how he did, and he said he did decent, but not good enough (apparently celebrity is not his strong suit). I was confident they would call my number (#19). I even told Dan I was nervous about my impending interview.

Well, the numbers started flowing. 101, 55, 43...I was ready for them to say 19, but they never did. 12 people made it through, but Dan and I did not. We were told to have a nice day before being sent out the door. Oh well, at least I got a cool Who Wants to be a Millionaire pencil!!

up next...Did you think that I, the King of getting lost, would survive New York City without a detour of some sorts? HA!